Recent forum posts (all topics)

I've felt enough loneliness in my relationship to last an entire lifetime!

My workaholic ADD partner just accepted a new shift where he works from 4pm-2am Tuesday to Sunday. Meaning, he'll never have or be able to take a Friday or Saturday off. He's suppose to be one of the top guys there so I'm not sure why he's even being asked to work on the weekends?!?!?! The other top guy refused the shift and told my partner to do the same... but my partner "just can't say no".  (he says no to me constantly, heh, interesting!<--- to the point where I even think he has ODD.) 

Hello,

I just ordered this book even though I am not married.  I have been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend who has ADD.  He definitely has the inattentive disorder and not the hyperactivity.   Luckily he is not impulsive and not a substance abuser.  He actually has a very hard time making ANY decisions and can be very tight with his money, even though he is very successful.

This is a thread to collect ideas from both the ADHD partner and the nonADHD partners to post ideas/strategies that they have tried, and had positive results from. From taking out the garbage, to showing up on time, establishing eating/bedtime routines, to giving/receiving criticisms, communicating needs and handling conflict situations. It might be better if the poster first says if they are the adhd partner (adhd+), or the non adhd partner (adhd-); who's idea it was, how it was brought up, and the results.

I recently purchased the book - The ADHD Effect on Marriage. I have been married for 24 years and I believe my wife has ADHD. She does admit she probably has ADHD, but refuses to seek any help. Our 16 year old son has been recently diagnosed with ADHD and is currently taking medication for this. I have seen a big improvement in him, when he is on his ADHD medication. My wife shows many of the same symptoms as my son, but like I said before, refuses to seek help. I have spent countless hours researching ADHD and I am about at the end of my rope.

My ADD husband is on meds for depression and ADD - for the last 18-24 months as well as counseling for ADD for 4 months (2nd time). Plus we have been in marriage counseling for about 4-5 sessions.  He know feels that he doesn't need the ADD counseling any longer.

Clearly it's frustrating that ADDers don't notice messes and undone chores. But I'm also reading that a lot of the non-ADDers are worried about nagging.

I would LIKE my boyfriend to nag me more. Not nag, but remind.

A lot of times I don't do chores because if I even notice they need to happen, I get sidetracked. BUT if my boyfriend tells me they are bothering him, or he just needs help because he doesn't have time to do it all, I am almost certain to get it done (not awesomely, but done). They stand out in my head as the important things to do.

Hi,

I'm in a new relationship of about 9 months with a kind, sweet, romantic man.  He is always late and a couple of times, just didn't show up when he said he would.  I almost broke up with him twice.  He wrote me a note, sent flowers, etc and told me he has ADD.

I bought the book ADHD and Marriage by Ms. Orlov and recognize a lot of the same situations with my guy.

I'm wondering if you long suffering partners would have gotten out when you could have, if you had known about ADD during the courtship phase?

Hi everyone,

My husband went and found a testing center that took our insurance without getting any recommendations from any professionals that we trust, and we just got the results today.  The test they gave him to determine ADHD was the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale, Fourth Edition (WAIS-IV).  Is this the test that is common in testing for ADHD?  I've spoken to a couple of people who don't seem to think it is, yet this "professional" said that based on the results there is no way that my husband has ADHD. 

I don't want to cause my partner so much anxiety, and anguish, and pain. We've been together for two years, living together for over a year, and now I worry that all these posts are how he really feels and isn't telling me. It makes me feel worthless. I am a successful (read: working) actress, I pay my bills on time, I don't get fired -- ever, I like to think I'm pretty emotionally well-adjusted (openhearted, with a distinct slant towards compassion), and I don't think I have that hyper-focus thing (if anything, I feel like he is the one pulling away after two years), but...

Hi

I am new to these forums. But reading them has provided me an answer as to why i do the things i do. I think i have ADD. I am looking for any good therapists in the Austin/Round rock area that can help me and help me save my marriage.

(possibly) ADD husband