Recent forum posts (all topics)

Message to Melissa Orlov

Dear Mrs Orlov.

I am the husband (although forced into a separation now) of a lady who has recently been diagnosed through up to date, scientific tests.   However she has invalidated these results soon afterwards and that upset me greatly.   She now wants to be retested through her own Psychologist.   All the information I've come across this far on severe ADD (in writen and video format) show that if there is only "patient / Psychologist" intereaction, there is no one else there to really monitor what is said or isn't said to the Psychiatrist.   My question to you is as follows:

How do you get your spouse to realize / accept that their ADD/ADHD is a big part of the problems in the marriage?

I would love to get some success stories of how any of you have successfully helped your spouse realize / accept that their ADD is a big part of the problems in the marriage.  My husband blames our marital problems on me - he says I am an angry, abusive person and that if I don't get help and change it will be the ruin of our marriage.

How Do You HANG ON?

My husband has ADD, takes multiple meds, sees a doctor twice a month ( for free.. Husband gave him stock in the company!)

He has been on meds for 10 years or so and seeing the therapist that long.  I see NO big changes.

We have no money for me to go to a therapist.

Husband is self employed and always on the verge of making it big.

I'm waiting. He has done well in the past but not in the last 3 years, plus we lost everything when the market crashed two years ago.

We've been married 34 years and have two grown married children.

New marriage being ripped apart by ADD

I got married last year to a lovely man. At the time I knew this man had organizational problems and was a bit scattered but I had no idea to what extent. I have been lurking around the forums and blog all week and I am seeing the same patterns in my relationship that I am reading here. The most glaring issues being chore distribution and his apparent subconsious need to bankrupt us.

What is Marriage counseling ?

 

Hi

Marriage counseling is a form of psychotherapy given to married couples to resolve marital problems. Most problems can be solved with a short counseling session. Sometimes a prolonged therapy is required in which the husband and wife meet the counselor individually and collectively several times. These sessions also help you improve your relationship with spouse by straightening behavioral problems and correcting emotional and mental disorders.

Lack of Resources for the Non-ADHD spouse

I need help.  I'm the non-ADHD wife married to an ADHD husband.  I have to get out of the marriage.  Things are too far gone for repair, he says he's trying but nothing really changes.  Mentally, I'm a wreck.  Completely burned out and still expected to keep things going.  I've been hospitalized three days a few years ago for suicidal depression and last December I made an attempt.  I am seeing a therapist who keeps telling me that "me time" is a necessity for me.  I'm taking as much as I can but its not enough.  Even when things are going all right, I can't enjoy them.  The moment I start,

Silly ADD question

This is going to sound silly, after all the hot discussions we've had lately, but here goes...

How can an ADD person not remember to let the water out of the bathtub? I never find this out until I go to take my shower, and can't.

If I ask him, he'll say he did let it out, even though he clearly didn't. How can someone who is properly medicated be so far out in ADD Land that they don't know you are supposed to let the water out when you are done? It means it gets more soap scum, etc. and I have to clean it.

Non-ADHD/ADD spouses have too high expectations?

Something has been bothering me all morning.  I was on here earlier and was going over posts and keep seeing from folks with ADD/ADHD saying that the non-ADHD/ADD partners have too high expectations.  I am so not able to understand this line of thinking because I keep coming back to the fact that the non-partner is the one doing most or even all life "tasks".  How are we, then the ones with too many or too high of exepctations?  My husband expects that he has clean clothes, dishes and food in the house when he is hungry or needing clothes to put on, regardless if he has bot

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