Recent forum posts (all topics)

All I feel is relief....

My husband has been staying at his brother's house for the last two weeks, and will soon be staying in a house he bought several months ago.  All I feel is a profound sense of relief...the constant anxiety is easing a little bit every day and I actually feel optimistic about the future for the first time in years.  Although my children are all still at home and I have to deal with my Sjogren's Syndrome on a daily basis (it's not fun), I feel GOOD.  Twenty six years of living with his ADHD and OCD have taken such a tremendous toll on my physical and mental health that it's almost like the ai

how situations could go wrong, and what can be done to protect them from a stressful fate.

Ive noticed latley one trait that can be either present in the adhd person, or in the non-adhd person, but when gone unrecognized can wreak havoc on a relationship with spouse and kids alike. 

 

what is it.....ever get that feeling that you always get so frustrated with the fact that people wont just listen and listen to your lead when you try to either work together, or ask them to do something. 

 

It's after midnight -- where's my husband?

My husband left the house this morning after an argument. He left the car, his cell phone, and all his belongings -- just walked out -- and it's after midnight and I still haven't heard from him. I'm left sitting here on the couch, worried sick, and wondering where all of this went wrong.

Angry Tantrums

I was just reading through some old posts and came across some about tantrums.  The posts were about tantrums the person with ADD throws.  However, when I read some of them, they sounded like they were describing me!  I am the non-ADD partner, and I find myself sometimes - and lately, I would say often - getting to the point where I "snap."  I find myself yelling furiously at my wife, leaving the room and slamming the door behind me, going back into the room and yelling some more, leaving again, feeling like kicking or throwing something, shouting the F word as loud as I can while I pace ba

We finally found a shared hobby!

One of the big problems with my fiancee & I is that we seem to have little to nothing in common. We share a lot of ideas and beliefs, but have completely different tastes in movies. I like to read while he plays video games - but I immerse myself in a book and it can be hard to focus with the soundtrack of him swearing at the game and constantly asking "Did you see that?"  The few things we do have in common, are things that are generally done separately - when living within easy reach of babysitters we'd go to a free poker game once a week, but we'd be seated at different tables.

Too Many Rules

My wife has become aware (from me and from reading about ADHD) that there are lots of behaviors she has that "annoy" other - not only me, but also friends and coworkers, and she wants to do things differently.  In fact, now that she is so aware of how much she wants to do differently, she is feeling very overwhelmed.  In her words - she has "too much to think about.  There are just too many rules."  Add to that - her self esteem is suffering.  What advice do you have for her, and for me as I support her and give her feedback on how she is doing, as she continues to work on her behaviors, so

We Really Seem to Be Stuck

I have been trying a combination of things with my ADHD wife so that we don't end up fighting all the time.  Things like not constantly criticizing her every time I notice she forgets to do something or when she again does something I repeatedly asked her not to because it upsets me in some way or other; setting clearer limits and "natural" consequences, such as leaving at the agreed upon time evn if it means she comes later in her own car so that I don't end up feeling angry and frustrated all the time; and taking time for myself - getting together with friends without my wife and suggesti

Little Acts of Kindness

I often feel like I am doing little acts of kindness for my wife - getting her morning coffee when I am the first one up, cleaning her glasses when I clean mine, emptying the dishwasher when I get home before her, offering her a snack when I get up to get one for myself - I could go on and on.  And it feels like she hardly ever returns the favor in kind.  I'm thinking that these things just don't make it to her radar - and that it has to do with her ADHD.  In fact, I HOPE it's related to her ADHD, else it would mean she is a thoughtless person.  This is beginning to take it's toll in that w

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