Well I had an entire post ready for the resources thread and the net ate it! I figured maybe there'd be more views here and it does deal with my greatest source of anger surrounding my husband's ADD--His apparant refusal to do the work to move past frustrating ADD behaviors.
I may be married longer than anyone on this forum - 45 yrs. I stuck it out the first half because my husband, Mike, convinced me I was "damaged" and just couldn't handle life. So, for yrs. I sought help. It didn't occur to me that my condition was due to abuse. I'm sure that was because my dad was abusive, as well.
Early on, we had a son. He's 44 now and we haven't heard from him in yrs. Our grandchildren don't know us. My son had a crying and depressed mother and a rejecting and abusive father.
Dr. Ratey diagnosed my husband 17 years ago, back before many people even knew what ADHD was. 17 years later, we have bought, renovated and sold, four homes, and therefore have moved that many times. My husband left 2 lucrative jobs, opened and closed 2 of his own businesses, and has worked at a commission based job for about 2 years now (translation: no salary). Financially we are a mess. Currently I work about 50 hours a week to keep up with bills and keep food on the table. I'm tired all the time and my relationship with my children feels not as close as it once was.
Once they're diagnosed, how often do ADDers "figure it out" or "man up" ("woman up"?) and take responsibility for themselves and the damage their condition has done? How often are they really aware of what they've done, apologize, and make amends? Or is it usually hopeless--do you really just have to give up and walk away?
Well, I cant beleive i am actuall contributing to these forums, finally the day came(yesterday) that my partner (who I diagnosed with adhd) and i went to the psychaiartrist and after an hour and a half of conversations with him, he said...."now ADHD is very very hard to diagnose, but i must say...in this situation, you are the exception to the rule".....
My husband, 33, has just been diagnosed with a pretty severe case of ADD and probably some other issues (through SPECT analysis). We have been struggling for 2 years, I finally had to have him leave the house Friday because he was accusing me of being an insensitive person and treating him badly and insulting my "character." I told him that we have a lot of stress but neither one of us is a bad person. You know where this is going. I refuse to let him end this relationship because he overthinks. Not until he's under some good medicine and therapy. Anyway, he has had an appointment wi
I have no idea what to do. The more I am looking at this site, the more that I feel that this is what is going on in my life. I have been with my husband for almost 16 years, and I the last 6 have been incredibly rough. Two months ago, I left, and took the kids with me. We had been trying to go to marriage counseling, and I found the more that we talked, the worse I felt, the more disappointed, more hurt. I feel like I have bent over backwards to try and make the marriage work, and that I have been the only one trying. I feel like he doesn’t get it, and that he is j
Hello Everyone:
this link is to an hour long online video about ADD featuring experts like Lynn Weiss, Thom Hartmann and Ed Hallowell. It is very good, but goes offline 9/25/09.
https://globalnews.ca/loving/2009300/story.html
Brenda
I only read the transcript but will watch this tonight -- it's a documentary that aired on Canadian television last Friday about ADD, and might be a good starting point for a discussion with your partner or family or whoever!
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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