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Basically I am in need of some basic information as well as some advice from people with experiance in dealing with a spouse who has ADD. Any advice or tips you can give me will be greatly aprechiated.

Like many of you out there, I am losing patience fast.  I have been married to a person with ADD for four years now.  He was diagnosed after one year of us being in a relationship, shortly after we moved in together.  He was 34 when diagnosed, so you can imagine the damage to his own self that he has endured. 

Right now I feel like I am on a roller coaster that is now out of control.  I have absolutely no idea where to start to even gain control over my own life again.  We are in Europe right now and all I want to do is find a divorce attorney when we land in the U.S. 

Can anyone recommend any good books, websites, classes on learning to be more assertive?  I think I need to learn some assertive techniques, statements, etc.  When I think I am being ignored or manipulated I tend to respond mentally and emotionally aggressive.  I believe that it would help me a great deal to have some assertiveness insight to control myself, build stronger boundaries, and feel a sense of protecting what i value.

brenda

Hello All, 

I just found out two days ago that I'm pregnant, and although it is something I thought I wanted desperately, my first reaction was actually to freak out at the prospect of having a child with someone whom I feel is so ego-centric that I can't trust him to give me the attention I need at this time.

I haven't had any sexual desires in....years.  I always thought there were many reasons for it, which there may be, but the last year or so I've boiled it down to just one thing-I don't feel close to my ADD husband whatsoever.  And I've told him this, of course he doesn't do anything about it.  And yes, when we have sex it's all about him.  He ignores anything and everything else and does whatever he wants until he gets himself done.  I know this is all part of the ADD, which he's only known about having for a few days now so we have yet to get him any help.  But it's like, not only am I ve

I found this pdf online, but I don't know who to give credit to.  It sounds like a student at Cornell wrote a paper on boundaries.  I think I will use this as the basis of creating some new boundaries of my own.  Having weak boundaries causes a lot of unnecessary pain.

https://www.cs.cornell.edu/home/kreitz/Christian/Boundaries/04ten_laws.pdf

Brenda

Why do I feel like I'm the one with the problem here?

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and am currently taking medication to help with the symptoms.  While this is helping, I recognize that I need regular therapy to help me better understand my condition and improve my overall self-esteem. I know that until I do this, I will struggle to improve my marriage and that when I land that next job, i will come across the same problems I experienced in the past.  I am recently unemployed however, and while I am on COBRA, there are very few therapists on my plan, and most have little if no focused training on ADHD. 

The man I am involved with has ADHD. He is currently on Adderall and thinks that's all he needs to do. He decides what he has to do during the day and then decides when he should take his medication. Everything I have read indicates that the medication should be taken at the same time everyday to help with ADHD symptoms (distraction, hyperfocusing, lethargy, etc). Any time I ask him about that he gets very defensive and shuts down. Sometimes the things he says makes me think he may also have some depression as well and it worries me that he isn't addressing it.

I'm just wondering if there is any information out there about ADHD and post pardum depression ("PPD")?  It would be very helpful as I haven't been able to find anything.  In my experience ADHD and PPD seem to aggravate each other and I was therefore wondering if there is any information which could help me.