Recent forum posts (all topics)

So many stories of husbands with ADHD ... but could it just be character faults?

For anyone reading this....the term "Going through the wall" has a particular significance to me from my childhood. As a competitive swimmer beginning at the age of 6 and coming from a family dysfunction that completely undermined my ability to have any faith and belief in myself....and the fact I had un-diagnosed ADHD in those terms...created a situation where I was singled out in my family as the "one" who could not be trusted. I was the only one in my family, where all other family members (but particularly my parents) that had no faith and trust extended to.

Both the ADHD and the non-ADHD parter.

My ADHD partner "tries" but if only I was less angry/more loving/more caring/ more empathetic etc... then he would come to bed/contribute more/let go of his video game addiction and spending addiction. He only reacts to my anger and to my negative reinforcement.

"He who cares the least wins."  I think of this quote quite often in my own relationship with H. He seems to need his independence and control and "self" more than he needs a relationship with his marriage and wife. That seems to be the mode of the day ..... boundaries and self-hood and self-pampering.   I DO feel needy often.  I WANT to care and have connection.  Does that make me co-dependent?  Or does the fact that our needs are not being met mean that our needs are not being met?  Does our society believe that caring more is linked to desperation? 

I feel so beaten down today.  Today I could walk out my front door and never look back.  Everything is a project.  Nothing is smooth or easy.  I have gained 25+ pounds for a grand total weight of 170 pounds.  That is in the last year.  Oldest son, turning 17 tomorrow, OD'd in January and got out of rehab in late February.  He has been clean for 138 days.  Youngest son, 14-freshman, has Asperger's and is doing terribly in school.  We had a family session with me, DH and oldest son today as part of his recovery.

im not married, but my partner and I have been together for just over 3 years. I am 20 and he is 22. We have been living together for a year and we are expecting our first child in October. He was diagnosed with ADHD very early in life and was on medication for it until high school, but is no longer on it. I'm struggling to find a way to deal with and put an end to his pattern of lying. He has never cheated on me (that I know or) but he will lie about EVERYTHING, even if there is no reason to lie. Sometimes it's flat out lying to my face, other times it's lying by omission.

My divorce was finalized this morning. I still like my former husband. But I have no regrets about no longer being married to him. I'll always be an anxious person but now I won't have the concealed dangers resulting from his and his family's dishonesty and denial weighing me down.

Perhaps this forum is a safe place to stow some baggage...as we try to move on...

I just had an epiphany of sorts...not that this is anything knew...but coming to a speculation I've had for years in an understanding of it better.  The epiphany...is within this possible new understanding.

I remembered something, that was passed along to me from a friend who was an athlete and competitor, as a means to focus during a sporting event to perform at your best and not let you mind get the better of you and "play tricks one you".