Recent forum posts (all topics)

So - one of the things I am seeing is those with ADHD/ADD do tend to live in the moment, hard core in the present - never mind future or past, just right here right now. I do think this can be a great thing, its good for getting past hardship, moving past an argument, a great coping mechanism in a lot of ways. But where the problem comes in, is that not only (in *my* experience) does that ADHD person live in the present, they live in their "feelings" that are "right now" as well. This is a VERY dangerous thing to do, and its very destabilizing of any relationship you can ever build.

I know that the very brave adhd folks who come to the anger forum sometimes get exposed to the raw side of our nonadhd pain.  You are brave for doing that, but it shows hope that there are some of you who take the time to actually care.  To those of you who work on your adhd related issues... THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart.  It's a long road but you have guts and honesty to do it. Your spouses are very fortunate indeed.

 

Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years. This has been extremely difficult time for numerous reasons. I have been in therapy for all these years and my boyfriend has been quite supportive. He has also pointed me to some of my issues which I need to solve. At some point I am however feeling that he has taken the liberty of just pointing out whatever is wrong with me and suggest that I change my behavior. Because of his ADHD he has a lot of micromanaging habits which get challenged when living together with someone.

Hello. Please bear with me, as I'm afraid this will turn into a pretty long post. I just feel like I need some advice and feedback on a few things.

 

I'm a 22-year old female with Aspergers syndrome who's engaged to a 21-year old guy with an Aspergers/ADHD combination. We've been in a relationship for almost four years and engaged for almost two years, and we are soon planning on moving in together in the near future.

But some things are really bothering me and making me question how the future will be, and I almost feel like I want to quit at times.

 

What’s your current story, and how does it make you feel? If it doesn’t make you feel good when you tell it, then stop telling it. Instead, tell a story that makes you feel inspired and positive. Maybe you haven’t found your calling yet and feel as if every day is ground hog day. You can change that.......The Tiny Budha online

Has anyone else experienced irritability and anger with Vyvanse that my ADHD spouse is exhibiting? How long do I hold out for him to try a different medicine?

My partner and I have been together for 4 years.  We recently bought a house together.   He told me when we met that he was depressed...but I've seen him joyous so many times!  And I knew he was a slob and a procrastinator-- I thought typically male.  He was the first non-outgoing type I'd ever been with; he was quiet and shy and did sometimes disagree with a topic (which meant that was it, no conversation or give and take, no stimulating intellectual jousts).

"Why" for me seems to mean everything for me. It almost seems as if...it is the foundation from which I know anything: what to do, why to do it, how to do it, and when to do it and where to do it. It's almost as if.... If I can't can't understand why...then it seems I can't understand anything? It just seems that way to me but I also know that's not always true...as I'm saying it. Getting past the why for me at times....seems to be the biggest challenge I have to getting past most of the obstacles I've faced in dealing with this "why" issue I have. Why, why, why!!!! I need to know why!!!

What was my role?  

I played the emotional patsy, the lonely child, the reproaching parent (to him), the desperate powerless woman. He played the naughty, willful child, the playboy, the salesman, the clown, the Devil May Care imp, light relief, the rebel, the entitled man.

I cried, I shouted, I tried for meaningful conversations. He left the room. He verbally attacked. He was mute holding court of his entitlement he gave himself because he WON the battles.  I was like a tiny country crying, "No Fair", he brushed my needs aside and laughed.

This is an update to my thread from 18 months ago, found here. https://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/apathy-setting