Recent forum posts (all topics)

Just need to vent, caveat, I love my spouse very much and would kill the devil for her but she has a tendency to drive me insane sometimes. I am the one with ADHD, and I understand how difficult it is to live with someone with ADHD, I am not an easy person to live with all the time and I tell her this, and thank her for all she does for me, but I forget something after n number of reminders, all hell breaks loose.

I ran across an article of this topic which is one I am still learning more about.  The one thing that I do know for sure is that this is one of those things that is hard not to notice sometimes especially with anger.  That seems to be the problematic one that everyone can see including us (ADHD'ers) when that happens.  But as I have now come to understand better....this is directly related to executive functioning and the ability to control your emotions.  As it is stated very well in this article...the emotional responses may be appropriate to the situation....but the response or how they

An amazing thing happened over dinner a couple of nights ago. J Jamieson had been talking recently about denial - and how tricky or impossible it is to get into some topics when denial is at play. He had suggested going through the back door so that the denial is not openly confronted - allowing your partner to feel safe and not attacked. I couldn't tangibly get the concept but it has stuck in my mind. So back to dinner.

Wow - this book was suggested by Melissa Orlov last week in a forum post. Wow, wow, wow! Lightbulb moment! A must read for those on this forum.

Not too very long ago, I tried to express to my spouse why I changed my behavior.  Most changes surround new boundaries put in place to keep my distance from behaviors directed at me that I will no longer accept.  

Two things came to light that really surprised me.

I've done a little research about this topic and revisited it again wondering what the differences are to victim mentality and Narcissism or the like in disorders.  It does appear that there is an overlapp in some ways but a true Narcissist it seems will use victim mentality as a tool or weapon in their arsonal to use as needed just to get his/her needs met.  In reality.....it's a distorted version of victim mentality so you can say that you can have one without the other but.... you can have Narcissism without victim mentality if that makes sense.

I'm tired. My husband joked a few years back that he might have ADHD. Reading these posts, Has me thinking it might be true. He always has to be the 'victim'. Me asking him to do something, oh let's say, like watch how much he drinks so he won't fall, just turns into an argument. He's full of excuses! He always turns the argument around to make me the focus. He adds multiple topics and we never get anything resolved. He's said multiple times to me 'I thought I told you'. His latest...he said I said to him on Satuday, 2 different times that 'I don't give a F about him'.