Recent forum posts (all topics)

ADHD spouse's anger affecting child

My partner was diagnosed with ADHD before we met 14 years ago.  He takes Adderall 90 mg/day.  He is abusing the Adderall -- taking more than the prescribed dosage.  Two months ago, he admitted to running out 4 days before he could get his prescription filled.  He only admitted this after I asked him if he'd run out (it was apparent to me that something was wrong).  After that, we agreed that I would dole out the meds to him daily.  This worked for the first month.  A few days ago, I discovered that he got into the meds where I had hid them and is now going to be three days short this month.

Anger that makes your hands cold....

I am so angry right now and I am not an angry person. Just need to vent. Backstory: I left my ADHD husband due to temper in April. He didn't chase me, made me pay for it, didn't look for me just "woe is me, who did you tell" arrogance. Anyway, I came back and things have slowly been better with his temper although he is still neglectful and everything else that ADHD'ers do. I have grown and am dealing. 25th anniversary sucked but that was also payback for me leaving. Anyway, my sister had to kick her 18 yr old daughter out and has been a mess today.

Enabling vs Understanding

So, I am in a relationship with ADHD partner. We tread a fine line between Enabling and Understanding our ADHD partners. On one end of the scale we have the school of thought to just accept them for who they are and pick up all the slack because they cannot help it and on the other end of the scale are those who seem to comment that if they are not pulling their weight then end it. We spouses constantly swing in between both and quite frankly it does my head in to the point where my own mental health is becoming an issue.

Asking for help

I have four kids, five if you include the ADHD husband, am pregnant, and desperately need help because I have the worst cold-flu of my life. My husband refuses to work, does absolute minimal childcare during the day (everyone is adequately cared,for, but I have to,prep meals to warm up, set out clothes, etc) and no housework at all ever. His response to me being sick is to say I'm faking, even though I'm not breathing well. I probably should have gone to the ER yesterday as my lips turned blur nut he would not allow it. Does anyone have any effective strategies for asking family for help?

Shower Bar gong show

After years of my cajoling my husband had a burst of ambition and had to immediately mount the shower slide bar without consultation (if I don't specify precisely it gets done wrong and I know that sounds petulant, but I've had too many gong show situations).  So, while I'm at the grocery store he mounted the shower slide bar in the walk in shower ***at floor level*** because I said I'd also use that shower for the dog.  Did he think the dog was going to adjust the shower arm?

Anger is destroying my marriage

Hello.  I am new to this forum and I am terrified because I think my husband and I are on the verge of splitting.  My husband has not been officially diagnosed with ADHD.  However, we've had longstanding marital issues due to his inability to manage his anger, and with a lot of research, I'm starting to think this might be the cause.  Thankfully, he has also done some research and is in agreement.

Finally getting help, but I am scared it's too late

Hey all, hubby is in counseling, I am in counseling and last week we went to a marriage counselor.  He is now on meds also.  However...I have this horrible feeling in my gut that it's just too late.  I just don't feel like I am in love with him anymore, and I am not one to forget past hurts very easily.  I wish with all my heart and soul that I felt in love with him.  I don't want to be in love with anyone else or to start over.  I am just so incredibly pissed at what this has done to me and to our marriage.  All the wasted years feeling like I was nuts or a bitch or expecting too much.  I

Concerns about hyperfocus in dating/courting relationships

I am the daughter of someone with ADHD and I have a brother with it as well.  Growing up with and ADHD father was difficult.  We didn't know he had it until many years after my brother was diagnosed.  I told myself that I don't ever want to marry a man with ADHD because I don't want to repeat the problems I had in my childhood.  After finding this website, I can see that not everyone with ADHD has all the same symptoms, and of course not the same personality.

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