Recent forum posts (all topics)

Why isn't it working for me?

I read the author's blog post : " How to Find Gratitude in a Struggling ADHD-Impacted Relationship"  Being the non-ADHD partner in my marriage, I have searched out what I can do to make my marriage thrive.  I have swallowed my pride more times than I ever thought I could, and put on the cloak of "It must be me."  I have been given "what for", and did not fight back, thinking maybe sitting in the posture of "she who made the mistake" would help the situation turn around.

The damage it's done.

So after half a year I have spent seeing this person it has finally ended. I can say these have been 6 of the most awful months of my life. I have tried many times to rationalise my strong feelings for him and understand why I love him so much, but the truth is I don't really know. Paradoxically I have received very little in return. He always seems to go out of his way to remind me how expendable and unimportant I am to him... which has done "great" things to my already little self-esteem.

Where do I even start?

Forum: 

I guess I'm looking for someone to talk to, someone who has been, or is, experiencing a situation similar to me.  Someone objective, a sounding board, who would be willing to be a friend.  I see a lot of descriptions on the boards that sound a lot like me but with one major point of difference from a lot of them, my husband is not hurtful or mean and I know he loves me and wants me to be happy.  However, his habits and characteristics are really grating on me lately, making me want to pull my hair out and seriously pushing me to contemplate whether I've fallen out of love.

Arrrgh! Why can't H remember something 24 hours later?!

H has been working OT for the past couple of weeks. He hasn't worked the weekends but has been working an extra 2-4 hours a day. I told him a month ago about our Christmas Party which he said he couldn't wait for. I told him again about it last Thursday when we got the details on it. I told him on Monday night that I signed us up. Each of these times I told him it was on Friday Dec. 12. He went "This is going to be an awesome time". I said "It WILL be fun. Just be sure not to work OT that Friday or that weekend". He said "You got it".

Not at all interested in sex

My DH has ADHD and I have no sexual desire in our relationship at all. I feel like I am married to an adolescent. I've been carrying us for years, and he hasn't had a job since April. His ADHD is quite severe, and so he literally doesn't notice things - barbecue sauce on the hardwood floor, unlocked car (we've had 3 cameras and a Macbook Pro stolen out of his car), dirty baby diaper left on the floor...it's exhausting. And while a lot of the time, I'm too tired to want sex, the rest of the time, I'm not sexually attracted to him. I feel the exact opposite of cherished.

What does a life change look like

After 5 years, I have a step by step plan in place to coincide with getting my college degree in December 2015.  There are many parameters that will need adjusting as time passes - as no one knows what tomorrow will actually bring.  

Yes it is a one year plan.   It is not my dream plan, it is my looking-reality-squarely-in-the-face-plan.

Why do you stay?

After reading so many stories of unhappy, angry, depressed, disillusioned spouses who are still with their ADHD partner I can't help but wonder why do you stay? Why not just leave and start over? Is it money, fear, your vows, the children, or that deep inside you still have hope things will change? How long have you been dealing with the ADHD issues, why have you stayed this long? Hope to understand why we hang on ...

Best2You

All I want for Christmas

Dear Santa

I've been an awfully good girl for  nearly 55 years. I haven't been greedy. I have worked hard and have a good job. I have looked after my parents and raised a child. I have been (in the main) polite in the most taxing of circumstances.I have waited and waited for things to get better. I haven't asked for impossible things. I haven't expected impossible things.

However, just this once I am making a very special list for you.

I would like for Christmas:

- a visibility cloak    so that I can be seen

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