Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband, who has ADHD and other issues, lives with and is caregiver for his parents.  He has been doing so most of the time since September 2011.  The arrangement was supposed to be temporary; he said he would look for a permanent, good-paying job while at his parents' home.  He never has.  (I think he agreed to the arrangement so that he'd have a socially admirable reason for not looking for work and for being away from me.)  During most of this time, even though our relationship was and continues to be rocky, I've tried to offer my husband moral support as far as the caregiving goes.

I'm new to the forum but recognize shades of my domestic partner in all of your postings. He has the inattentive form of ADHD - the kind where he is completely uncommunicative. Like everyone else the relationship started out amazing - he was sweet, kind , thoughtful, I was fooled into thinking he was the kind of man I could marry. Of course, the second we moved in together he became a completely different person. He never even told me he has ADHD until I figured it out and confronted him. Even then he refuses to discuss it.

I am not married and I hope it's ok to ask this question here.  I've been dating someone about 6 months and things are wonderful.  She shared that she has ADHD/ADD so I am trying to understand how that might impact our relationship.  What advice/resources might you share with a newbie to this world?

So, my ex is ADD (inattentive). He won't accept it, nor do anything to improve his symptoms. In fact, just the opposite. He drives me insane, even though he has one of the biggest hearts. There is no hope for reconciliation, and his ADD and other issues have left me scarred. 

With that said, the only man I am interested in right now is ADD. He accepts it, jokes about it, takes meds for it, and has put things in place to help manage it. I am scared to death of his ADD, but I am giving him a chance. 

<p>I don&#39;t know what to do! I can NEVER have a chill/calm moment or event with my wife!! She&#39;s always tense and bitchy!! What the hell do I do!? We&#39;ve been married for a year and a half and I&#39;m only 23! I have no idea how to handle her. When we first met she was taking something for it and I had no clue about ADHD! Roller coaster ride for sure!! HELP!?!</p>

Hi I'm new. I'm 40, dh is 44. We've been married for 15 years. We have 2 sons, 11 and 4. The first 3 years of marriage were bliss. Since then it's been a roller coaster. We separated for a year about 8 years into the marriage after (and during) his torrid affair with a coworker. The newness wore off and we got back together. One great year, we got unexpectedly pregnant and it's been downhill since. Dh lost job 4 years ago and hasn't had a real job since then.    

 

I am new to this site. I have read lots of comments about the non ADHD partner getting negative and angry but in my case it is my ADHD partner who gets angry - does anyone have top tips for dealing with this and arguing healthily - most of the time my partner is calm and loving but at some point every few days there is a row - I feel I can not win - I try to be quiet and avoid confrontations but don't want to loose me-he says he wants to know my honest view but if I don't agree he gets cross and if I do agree he says I need to be honest.

I went to a therapist a couple of years ago, and then stopped.  Since then, H has regularly complained that I need to return (to work on "my" issues...lol).  One reason I stopped going was because my T didn't feel that there was anything wrong with me, except that I needed TO DO LESS for my H!  (which of course, he wouldn't like to have happen!!)

 

He says that I have changed... I know I have changed, but only because I do not trust a single word that comes out of his mouth!

Guilt and Shame seem to be the common denominators to much of issues and reactions. Where is it coming from? What is the genesis? I suspect that those with ADHD (either inattentive, impulsive or combo) have had a life-long history of having "normal" folks commenting and correcting them. I think from a young age they have had to listen to people say, "why did you do that"? or "what were you thinking" or "you need to pay attention" or "you broke that because you weren't careful," and so forth and so forth. Is that where it all started?