Recent forum posts (all topics)

Re: sex in the relationship

Sex is a subject that I have read in many posts, with people not getting into it right then because of needing to talk about other issues, but it DOES get mentioned. There has been a running theme that has me interested, because it's also MY relationship with my ADHD husband. The issue being this: Before the wedding, or at the beginning of the marriage, sex is good, maybe not great but still okay, but AFTER the wedding it changes and becomes almost non-existent and for some, TOTALLY non-existent as in my case.

Help needed, boyfriend owes more money - What would you do?

Yesterday I got an email from my boyfriend's business partner, I'll call "R." The two of them are working on several projects that will (in theory) make more money. Except right now my boyfriend owes R $300. And R is fed up.

To quote R, "I've grown tired of being our bank as I'm sure you have too.  I've grown tired of being the only adult one in our partnership."

Losing my sanity

Dealing with a lot lately. My 5 year old was recently diagnosed with asthma. That's on top of her life threatening food allergies, seasonal allergies (10 months out of the year), indoor allergy to dust and in my belief, possible ADHD. There's never a quiet moment in my home. My husband has what I believe is un-diagnosed ADHD and he is driving me crazy. My daughter just started Kindergarten this past fall and it has been an uphill battle with the constant colds that last forever due to asthma complications.

Needing to vent about my ADHD husband

We just got rid of our couch recently.  It was torn up and springs were popped up from my kids jumping on it.  My husband went to Costco to look for a replacement.  He found a white, leather couch he wanted.  I told him there is no way I want a white, leather couch.  The kids would ruin it and I don't find leather to be comfortable.  He insisted I look at it, which I did.  I found another one there that I wanted and sent him pictures.  He went back to Costco to look at it while I was at work.  He called me at work to tell me the white, leather couch was marked down to $900 because it was th

parenting with ADHD

My husband, who has ADHD (and other things), was a pretty good dad when our daughters were little.  He played with them.  I don't know if it's a coincidence, but he started to withdraw from me and the marriage and family responsibilities when our daughters were in middle school, a time in life when children often struggle with social and emotional issues.  I was the only parent dealing with most of the problems that arose.  I had and continue to have a good relationship with my daughters, now young adults.  We're friends but I'm definitely their mom.

How to communicate the need for space

I have an issue.  I've been invited to an impromptu dinner this evening with some friends from my church group.  I would like to go.  DH does not have plans, and I hate that I have to "ask permission" to do something like this.  Now thinking this through, I know that an ADHD mind may see this as a problem because it deviates from the normal schedule.  Also, I know that my husband will translate it into something like "she would rather be with these people than with me" or sometimes "is she up to no good?".  In reality, I haven't seen this group of friends since the last retreat we did toget

Try different - not harder

I had been using this site to express anger and vent believing that I needed a place to rid myself of my frustrations and hurt.  A test* was done by psychiatrists who studied if venting is helpful in this way.  They found that venting and sharing venting makes the anger increase, not subside.  Hmmmmm....so they say Frued was wrong.  

5 months into new marriage and ready for divorce

We are 5 months into our marriage. We were together for 2 1/2 years before the wedding. He told me about his ADD upfront. I wrote it off, not understanding it at the time, or the immeasurable impact that it would have on our lives together. Although he knew that he had ADD, he was not doing anything to manage it. This contributed to his overdrinking on a regular basis. During the course of dealing with that nightmare, our relationship nearly fell apart and I finally started reading about ADD and realized that he was self medicating with alcohol.

Never being able to talk

     The hardest thing now, with my adhd husband, is never being able to talk about myself in any way, shape or form. I can't tell him how I feel about something, (ANYTHING), or any opinions, or even maybe something silly. I have to keep EVERYTHING to myself and only talk about him and what HE  wants to talk about. When I DO get to jump in a conversation, he listens for about 30 seconds before turning the conversation back to himself.

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