Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi folks,

I'm the ADHD spouse and after reading the comments in this forum I can see myself in many of them. I'm also bi-polar. For most of our marriage I did not know why I was acting the way I was and a diagnosis and meds were not the magic bullets I thought they would be. I'm as frustrated and angry at my ADHD as my wife is and am deeply ashamed and guilty over my actions. 
 

I've asked her what would mean the most to her as far as change goes and she has told me to do the work and figure it out. I want to do better at meeting her needs and am hesitant to try or start because of her anger. She's told me I'm a low level thinker. So to that end I'd like to ask folks smarter than me and who have walked this road: 

Without being weird or awkward or over sharing - how did your ADHD spouse show they were serious about change? I'm in therapy with a psychologist who understands ADHD. I'm also working with a faith based counselor. I'm taking my meds. 
 

To be transparent - I've withdrawn because of the hurt I felt over the comment regarding my intelligence. I've focused more on the garden, a sore point for years, than her. I feel very awkward and weird around her. I'm working on not being defensive but im not speaking much at all. 
 

Any tips are appreciated! Also, if you have any constructive criticism that will help me sharpen my behavior and support my wife that's also appreciated. 
 

thank you

QM

Since a recent ADHD diagnosis my husband's whole perspective on life abs what he wants has changed and I'm currently in limbo waiting to find out if he wants a divorce or not. 

It's a relief to find this community and read the shared experiences. Being the partner of a ADHD spouse can be a really lonely experience. I find It's a constant  battle of trying to understand and empathise and standing up for yourself and the respect you deserve. 
May question. What are the stories of hope, what has worked and is it worth it to hang in there? 

I'm exhausted and don't know what to do. Please seeking advice and guidance. Apologies for the lengthy post. 

Me (28 y/o F) and my fiance (29 y/o M) have been together since about 2015 and got engaged in Summer 2022.   He has an ADHD diagnosis since he was a child.  Currently un-medicated.  As of 2021 he has discussed his feelings of depression and anxiety with me. (I've encouraged therapy and professional help on multiple occasions but he refuses).  Since getting engaged we're not getting along and I feel like I'm losing my sanity. 

Today was my daughter's birthday. We had already done a trip to celebrate but wanted to do just a few special things at home to still make it a good birthday. She really wanted to make a cake with me and decorate it a very specific way. She talked about it for days. I love making the kid's birthday cakes. They're never perfect but I'm getting better and better. We frosted it together this morning (she just couldn't wait) and we were both just tickled by it. I put it in the fridge so the frosting would stay in place. We opened gifts and had some family time.

Recently divorced and my ex just got an ADHD diagnosis 

Does anybody else have an ADD spouse who spends a big part of every day closed in and resting in bed?

I thought I could live my life independently in the next room. But I'm starting to feel deeply affected by it.

Hi, everyone! I'm new here. English is not my first language, so please bear with me. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6. He's 36. We've been together for almost 20 years now (highschool sweethearts). I consider myself to be a very patient person, but now that we have a baby (1 yo), I'm just so very tired of everything. I love my husband, I really do, but I don't think I can take this any more. We just started couples therapy to try and save our marriage, but sometimes I feel like there's nothing else I can do.

Unsure where to start as everything seems like a blur in my head. Although at the crossroads of having to make tough decisions...

Basic background info  - I am 49 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD in March of this year. I am currently on meds but haven't started therapy yet. Wife is younger and diagnosed with GAD. Married 10.5 years, been together for 13 yrs and we are both on our second marriages.