Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband and I have been married for 5 yrs. Although for the last 3 we have separated 3 times. We have currently been separated for a yr. My DH was diagnosed last Sept. with ADHD and started taking Ritalin, although he stopped both the counseling and the Ritalin in late November.

I am not surprise that I am here again,,blogging and venting...this is no joke,this is no fun...I know what I have to do but still I can't do it...I am not making any excuses here,but something has to be clearly wrong with me.I know what is acceptable from what is not,and yet I proceed to continue living in a lie with my H..His filthy mouth is the thing that I cannot accept,he has no filter.I know that there are things that would itch some of us to tell our spouses but dare to do so.I have had many things that I could have said to him and make him hate me,but what's the point in trying to m

Because....

This morning my wife unofficially found out that she's getting a rather big promotion, with a commensurate pay raise!

I am super-happy for her, and ultra-proud of her!  This is something she's been working really hard for and it's finally paid off!  The extra money would take the strain off our finances, and would relieve a lot of stress that's been building up in the family over it.  However...

We can all use a kick in the pants.  i will start by giving myself one and share my frustration.  It is clear to me that I must not keep doing what I am doing.  Surviving by using all the coping tools I can but being very unhappy.  My being unhappy is not doing anyone any good. Not for my health, my DH, my children, my friends. I spend too much time trying to manage DH.  I should leave DH and give everyone the chance for love, faith and joy.  I have had the conversations with DH saying we can't go on like this.  I have looked at my options.

This isn't really a conflict around household tasks, but I had no idea where to put it.  Now keep in mind both the events I am talking about were pre-diagnosis so neither of us really had any idea that he wasn't just being messy and disorganized and he just needed to 'try harder'.

We hear so many on here say their spouse is in denial about having ADD and that they blame everything on their significant other, but do those of you with ADD believe that the ones who are in denial must feel that deep down something is wrong even if they don't want to admit it or know what is wrong?   Also, how about once a spouse suggests ADD as the problem, do you then think those with ADD start to put the pieces together even if they won't admit it?  I appreciate your responses very much!  Thank you.   

I'm the ADD spouse. Recently I confessed to my wife that I needed to "work" to focus on her when we were out in public. She was/is very upset & angry. What I meant was that I know that my being aware of other attractive women in the room makes her feel demeaned, hurt, unloved, so I consciously focus on her - to protect her.

I guess I was deluding myself...  It's too late.  She's made it clear that it's well and truly over.  There's no longer any point in me nursing a false hope.

She doesn't trust me...  She can't rely on me...  She doesn't respect me...  She knows it's not my fault, but she doesn't want to hate me for something I can't control.  She doesn't have the strength to try a second time, and risk being disappointed again.

She thinks we were great as friends.  I'm not certain if I can go back to just being friends with her.