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This is the first time I have been on this sight. I am amazed at how many of these issues sound like our life. It is so good to know that there is hope. My wife was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago. I knew there was something wrong but it is obvious from what I have read here today that I have went about this all wrong when approaching her. My question is what effect does taking adderall combined with welbutrin have on my wife's personality? My wife has always been super defensive about anything I say.

I guess what I did was sacrifice myself.  I thought it was noble and needed.  I thought a person who cared made some sacrifices for those they loved. I thought that a family (or anything worth building) sometimes took some sacrificing to happen.  I still believe that. I learned about sacrifice from church, as a woman, as a worker, in literature, from models of happy families around me. I lived by the thought that I gave for the good of the bigger picture.  It was all supposed to be worth it in the end.

My fiance and I have been together for 5 years.  Two years ago, we entered into a long distance relationship (about 1600 miles apart) while he is attending graduate school.  6 months in, he came back home and proposed to me.  I was ecstatic.  About 6 months after that, I started to notice signs of ADHD in him, though he was 30 and had never been diagnosed.  He was struggling in school, not producing the required work, and was worried about getting kicked out of his program.

Well, in my case, one thing that  bother me is when the TV or the computer get all his attention . Is like he disconnect himself from everything around him. So, If I need something from him or I need to talk with him, I try to do it before or after this activities. And if I need his attention in the moment I go on front of the TV or the computer , sometimes I have to clap hard to capture his attention. That is not funny for him but he understand. His sister also do this trick LOL

DH finally went back to a dr. and got a script for Adderall (first try with a stimulant). He filled it right away and took the first one at work. I called him to see how it was going and he said a million times better. He had been having lots of anxiety from work about getting stuff done, which was probably due to not being able to focus on it. Yesterday (day 2), he was vague about the effectiveness. He said that he had to get a bunch of smaller tasks done, so he couldn't really tell if he was concentrating better. This morning (sat.) he is in true ADHD mode with 50 things going on.

Don't know where to begin, but need to get my feelings out before I implode. My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together for 8. I had ADHD as a child (back when we all just assumed that we outgrew it), then was diagnosed again when I was 25, a year into our relationship.

Conundrum;  A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma:

I tend to start a new post only when I'm struggling.  And I tend to really struggle on the weekend.  Yeah, there's a connection.

A comment from a friend led me to re-read the comments people have posted in response to comments I've posted.  And that review led me to my journals.  And all this led me to realize the "nut" of my situation.

I'm at a complete loss on what to do w/my husband and marriage.  After 10 years of marriage, 2 beautiful girls, & so many endless unfinished projects, I just don't know how much more I can take.  I need some real, genuine advice, and I need it now.  

*bought a house 8 years ago...lived w/my Mom for 8 1/2 months while bedrooms/living room/dining room walls were ripped apart to the studs/floors ripped out/replaced. Mom hired contractor to finish drywall for us so we could move in.  The trim around entire inside of home is still in the box in the garage from 7+ years ago.

Yes, it's true, my 11 year long stretch of trying to determine and fix my husband's personality disorder has finally come to an end with a conclusion that I'm satisfied with stating is exactly the cause with no further doubt in my mind. 
I must however admit that the answer does not give me any comfort or hope that my marriage will get better, in fact it assures me that unless I do some soul searching of my own it will without doubt only get worse. 

My 8-year-old daughter talking to me  (non-ADHD spouse). "Mom, why are those neighbors so rich? Their mom doesn't work. 

I respond, "their dad has a job. "