Recent forum posts (all topics)

Circus update...

Well either this is the "it gets worse before it gets better" or the end one of the two!  Another blow up by my DH last night, all over reading a book.  I have been reading Melissa's book again; so last night I am sitting there reading while DH was on the computer and he asked me what I was reading.  I told him it was the ADHD and relationships book and commented that a lot of it really makes sense and I liked how it was written because it doesn't blame anyone and it is written from both perspectives, so each partner can see where the other one is coming from.  He seemed a bit interested so

How do you apologize to the one who loves you the most, yet has suffered the most?

I have had a "lightbulb" week. Now, I have known about the ADHD for 2 years and honestly thought I was handling it. Even with meds, I became complacent, and quite frankly did NOT see the impact my trait was having on those I love the most, especially my husband. I ignorantly thought as long as I apologized for bad days or when I forgot to take my meds then my mouth would get away from me, that I was doing enough, I was owning my mistakes and behavior. What I have realized is that is exactly what I was NOT doing.

Be the change you want to see

You know I remember times when I would get home and just sit in my driveway because I didn't want to go in and deal with my husband.  There were moments and even weeks where I was so angry at him for letting me down and for not being the man I felt I deserved.  I resented him and anything that he did, no matter how small, was just another excuse for me to resent him more and put further blame on him for the decay of our marriage.  I would have panic attacks that I was going to find him "focusing" on yet another woman and giving her the attention that I felt that I deserved from him.  We wou

Looking For Hope

I am a non-ADHD spouse who recently stumbled on this site while trying to find some information on ADHD.  I bought Melissa's book and so far have found it incredibly insightful, I am often surprised to see our exact issues staring back at us in print.  I was thrilled to find this site and to hear people's suggestions, to receive advice and encouragement, as I'm sure many of you know it is difficult to find someone who can really understand what it is like to be with an ADHD spouse.  I am saddened to say that I have found none of that here.  Everyone seems like they HATE their spouse who has

How to stay consistent with treatment?

So...my wife had a pretty epic blow up at me this morning because of my inability to see the problems I am causing.  I get into this crazy cycle where I am doing okay with seeing a therapist and taking medication, but then inevitably I "fall off the wagon". i.e. start missing therapy appointments, stop taking medication and then the cycle starts all over again.  My question for the successful people is, how do I avoid this?  I am not even aware that I am doing it.  That's the main problem in my marriage is my lack of awareness.

This article basically describes me to the letter:

For Melissa - personality disorder or ADHD?

Dear Melissa, so much of what I read on this forum just looks like straight forward old fashioned marital abuse. The money issues, the anger, the violence, the witholding of affection, attention, sex, the abuse in fact. I have read a lot since I first came across this potential explanation for husband's awful behaviour - and the other explanation I have been given for the increasing difficulty of dealing with him is a narcissistic personality disorder (incurable) - they seem to share a lot of themes the two conditions, and yet one can be helped.

Please fellow forum ites, can I have your comments? Need to understand

I parted from my husband of many years over a year ago because it became intolerable to live together due to his constant lapses of judgment, big and little one of which resulted in him seriously injuring himself. He was completely inconsistent when it came to any kind of responsibility, but what I could rely on was daily shocks - one very regular one being parking tickets which would arrive regularly in the post (he would not tell me when he had got them). Which I had to pay as he did not work in fact refused to earn a living.

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