Recent forum posts (all topics)

So I've been sitting here for a couple of hours reading a lot of posts about chore wars and power struggles and the resulting resentment.  I'm the non-ADD spouse, but I differ from many here in that I don't mind picking up after my ADD wife.  I'm not talking about her work things or clothes, but if she leaves the coffee creamer out on the counter (almost every day), I simply put it away.  If she sweeps the kitchen but leaves the debris in a pile on the floor, I pick it up.  If she leaves all the lights and TV on upstairs even though she's sitting downstairs watching TV, I'll shut them off

My marriage to my ADD wife is at an all time low.  I've read both Melissa Orlov's book and Co-Dependent No More, both which have helped me alot.  I'm really trying to let my wife take charge of herself, however we still live in the same house with two kids, so we have to coexist and coordinate our lives to some extent.  But she is so incredibly passive aggressive and full of shame from carrying around every perceived failure she's ever had in her life that she translates any conversation about the smallest conflict into astounding anger and blame.  I can't express the slightest concern over

Hey people,

Great to subscribe to this forum after a) recently getting diagnosed with ADHD (I'm 39yrs old), b) finally 'getting' what is causing my relationship of 22 (& marriage of 13) yrs to dysfunction as badly as it has done and c) starting focused therapy and medication in a few weeks.

Just to start things off, I'm not actually married to my boyfriend.  Largely because we're a same-sex couple, and there's no marriage equality in the state we live in.  That said, I think this could still be a good resource for me.

I'm new on this forum. I'm a woman with ADHD diagnosed. I've been reading a lot of posts. and I'm realising that there are different expectations for men and women.

I'm in a relationship with a friend who's undiagnosed. We were friends for a few years before. His ADHD is driving me up the wall. I understand the communication issues because I have them but I make the effort especially as we are in a long distance relationship. I've always made an effort with more or less success depending whether medicated or not but I'm aware.

This goes out to those in marriages/relationships either with both partners or one with ADD/ADHD.

I don't know about other individuals, but for myself it seems that when a boundary is set and choice is made to be non-negotiable...the unexpected becomes the expectation of compromising.

What works for some does not work for all. Appeasing the other person with or without ADD/ADHD means that at times we have to compromise ourselves in order to satisfy the other person.

I would like to know how people told their spouse that they suspect he (she) has ADHD.  What worked, what didn't, what would you have done differently?

My ADD husband quit his job nearly a year ago.  He seems overwhelmed and unable to make decisions about what to do next.  Although I have a good job, it isn't enough to cover the bills and feed us, so we've had to cash in some retirement to pay off bills, and I am at the point of taking away any way that he can spend money - checkbooks, credit cards, everything once I pay off the next round.  I find myself feeling like I have another kid in the house and I know that isn't good for either one of us.  

Seeing as how the other posting I had under this title got to be a bit long I thought it would be beneficial to start a new thread on it.  I also thought it prudent to do so seeing as how so much has changed since that original thread.  I wrote the last time seeking answers to a question, a chance at grasping the sands of hope slipping through my fingers.  I’m in a better place now and have a different take on this subject so I wanted to provide some of the insight as it applies to me.  I’m not being selfish, I just don’t wish to assume I know how others feel so please take me with a grain

I have been married for 13 years and found out a few years ago I had ADHD.  It all made since, the trouble in school, making the wrong decisions, trouble with financial reports etc.  I have ruined my marriage, alienated my wife, kids and her family.  Im loosing my wife and son in a current divorce.  Work is fine and starting to really improve.  My medication does not seem to work for long, maybe a few hours.  But I have made the choices that got me here.  How much of that can be ADHD?  I fell like its a copout to blame the ADHD.  I could see this all coming but  its like it was a hologram a