Recent forum posts (all topics)

You don't slap your wife's hand, you hold it.

You don't negate your wife's feelings, you validate them.

You don't YELL at your wife, you talk with her.

You don't think of ways to deceive your wife, you think of ways to happily surprise her.

You don't put up your fists to fight with your wife, you put out your arms to hug her.

You don't prepare to do battle with your wife, you stand beside her to do battle with the world.

You don't tell your wife she's doing something wrong, you chuckle with her when she makes a mistake.

Not sure where this should go... 

Well either this is the "it gets worse before it gets better" or the end one of the two!  Another blow up by my DH last night, all over reading a book.  I have been reading Melissa's book again; so last night I am sitting there reading while DH was on the computer and he asked me what I was reading.  I told him it was the ADHD and relationships book and commented that a lot of it really makes sense and I liked how it was written because it doesn't blame anyone and it is written from both perspectives, so each partner can see where the other one is coming from.  He seemed a bit interested so

I have had a "lightbulb" week. Now, I have known about the ADHD for 2 years and honestly thought I was handling it. Even with meds, I became complacent, and quite frankly did NOT see the impact my trait was having on those I love the most, especially my husband. I ignorantly thought as long as I apologized for bad days or when I forgot to take my meds then my mouth would get away from me, that I was doing enough, I was owning my mistakes and behavior. What I have realized is that is exactly what I was NOT doing.

Anyone got a circus for me to join???  I have experience!!

You know I remember times when I would get home and just sit in my driveway because I didn't want to go in and deal with my husband.  There were moments and even weeks where I was so angry at him for letting me down and for not being the man I felt I deserved.  I resented him and anything that he did, no matter how small, was just another excuse for me to resent him more and put further blame on him for the decay of our marriage.  I would have panic attacks that I was going to find him "focusing" on yet another woman and giving her the attention that I felt that I deserved from him.  We wou

Hi there all - my husband has agreed to look into getting medication to treat his ADHD. This has been a long and rocky road and he's still dragging his feet about it.

I am a non-ADHD spouse who recently stumbled on this site while trying to find some information on ADHD.  I bought Melissa's book and so far have found it incredibly insightful, I am often surprised to see our exact issues staring back at us in print.  I was thrilled to find this site and to hear people's suggestions, to receive advice and encouragement, as I'm sure many of you know it is difficult to find someone who can really understand what it is like to be with an ADHD spouse.  I am saddened to say that I have found none of that here.  Everyone seems like they HATE their spouse who has

So...my wife had a pretty epic blow up at me this morning because of my inability to see the problems I am causing.  I get into this crazy cycle where I am doing okay with seeing a therapist and taking medication, but then inevitably I "fall off the wagon". i.e. start missing therapy appointments, stop taking medication and then the cycle starts all over again.  My question for the successful people is, how do I avoid this?  I am not even aware that I am doing it.  That's the main problem in my marriage is my lack of awareness.

This article basically describes me to the letter:

Dear Melissa, so much of what I read on this forum just looks like straight forward old fashioned marital abuse. The money issues, the anger, the violence, the witholding of affection, attention, sex, the abuse in fact. I have read a lot since I first came across this potential explanation for husband's awful behaviour - and the other explanation I have been given for the increasing difficulty of dealing with him is a narcissistic personality disorder (incurable) - they seem to share a lot of themes the two conditions, and yet one can be helped.