Recent forum posts (all topics)

My wife often uses laziness as a reason for not doing something.  It might be something she agreed to do by a certain day/time.  Or it may be something we more generally agreed to do, such as not leave things on the kitchen table.

When I tell her it bothers me that she didn't put something away or didn't get something done, she'll respond "I know. I was too lazy."  Or "I just didn't feel like getting up to do it." 

I am also beginning to suspect I have some of the characteristics of ADHD myself. I am very energetic when interested in something, passionate and excited, can be wildly creative. Very very low boredom threshold. But I also have a very good work ethic, and get things done pretty well most of the time. What does anyone think? I have been the partner in the marriage who took full responsibility for everything (reluctantly) as a result we live in a nice house in a nice area, and all the kids are clean and fed. Is it possible to have just the good bits?

I am beginning to suspect my father had ADD.
 

Do men with ADD often suffer from depression? Are they able to see the problems they cause and feel bad about it? ie before they receive treatment and counselling?

A lot of people have shared the experience of a partner with ADD whose focus and attention is fairly consistently "on" at work or maybe in some social situations, but somehow switches off when they are at home.  It has a few interesting consequences ...

- It adds to the difficulty of diagnosis, and of persuading anyone (including them) that the issues are real

Hi All,

Check out the video section at the Caddac web site.  Amazing video lectures!!

The 3 ADHD  Executive Function videos by Russell Barkley take a little time to watch, but will really help you understand your spouse.  He talks about the problems with self regulation in a way that I could  finally understand what was happening.  Best of luck.

(Note from Melissa Orlov - I took the link out of the title area, and put it in the body copy of this post so people could follow it.)

I cannot believe, the two of us kind hearted, compassionate, intelligent people are where we are today! Our fights are downright mentally and emotionally abusive! We lack respect for one another and the defensiveness on my ADD partners part is freakin' ridiculous! The communication is so lacking its a wonder we haven't seriously lost it by this point.

And now a wonderful note sent to me by my awesome neighbor who WAS a good friend:

Please somebody give me some advise, anyone please, any knowledge on the subject, even if you don't think it would help, tell me anyway.

I found this site by accident recently. Reading the posts brings of unpleasant memories to the surface.

I am the Non-ADHD partner and have lived with my husband for the past 9 years. I have been "taking care" of him almost from the start, without realizing it until later in the relationship. I knew there was something going on with him, but kind of equated it to him being a Momma's boy or the youngest child. Now years later, I have a lot of anger and resentment towards our situation and have wasted years catering to him like he was a child that I had to pick up and look after.