Recent forum posts (all topics)

Lack of Resources for the Non-ADHD spouse

I need help.  I'm the non-ADHD wife married to an ADHD husband.  I have to get out of the marriage.  Things are too far gone for repair, he says he's trying but nothing really changes.  Mentally, I'm a wreck.  Completely burned out and still expected to keep things going.  I've been hospitalized three days a few years ago for suicidal depression and last December I made an attempt.  I am seeing a therapist who keeps telling me that "me time" is a necessity for me.  I'm taking as much as I can but its not enough.  Even when things are going all right, I can't enjoy them.  The moment I start,

Silly ADD question

This is going to sound silly, after all the hot discussions we've had lately, but here goes...

How can an ADD person not remember to let the water out of the bathtub? I never find this out until I go to take my shower, and can't.

If I ask him, he'll say he did let it out, even though he clearly didn't. How can someone who is properly medicated be so far out in ADD Land that they don't know you are supposed to let the water out when you are done? It means it gets more soap scum, etc. and I have to clean it.

Non-ADHD/ADD spouses have too high expectations?

Something has been bothering me all morning.  I was on here earlier and was going over posts and keep seeing from folks with ADD/ADHD saying that the non-ADHD/ADD partners have too high expectations.  I am so not able to understand this line of thinking because I keep coming back to the fact that the non-partner is the one doing most or even all life "tasks".  How are we, then the ones with too many or too high of exepctations?  My husband expects that he has clean clothes, dishes and food in the house when he is hungry or needing clothes to put on, regardless if he has bot

Isn't ADHD/ADD a major problem in a relationship?

I keep reading things like, it's not all the ADHD/ADD causing the problems in a marriage, which to a certain degree I get.  I get that my anger can influence how things go in a relationship but at that same time I have never been this angry in my life before.  Now I am not perfect, far from it but I have never had problems with someone like this in my whole life.  I am typically easy going and friendly.  Most of my relationships are good, except the one with my husband who has ADHD.  He seems to be the only one to think I am this cold, mean, criticizing person.  There is not one person that

It can't be all about the ADHD

I found this article on the net. I thought it might help both the ADHD and non-ADHD spouse when they are angry and trying to understand. There are some great points, yet they don't diminish the frustration on either side.

It can't be all about the ADHD!

“Bruce” (not his real name) was desperate for help: his wife had demanded he find a doctor to diagnose his ADHD … or else. He had emailed me for a recommendation, but I knew there was a lot more going on/wrong in his marriage than either of them realized.

Totally Exhausted

My husband was diagnosed with ADD as a child. He was medicated for a while as a child but has not taken medication since he was about 11 years old. The reason I am posting this is because I need help. We have been married 6 years and I am beside myself trying to get him to engage in particiapting in homelife. My main concerns are:
a) Helping with chores around the house
b) Engaging with his two young boys

ADD husband came through last week in a big way!

We had two very important things going on during the same week.  We had a special visitor at our church who comes every 6 months for a special week of activity, and my dear nieces who moved away from us 6 months ago (they now live 4 hours away) had a dance recital.  We've all taken the move hard since previously we'd been there for every major event in their lives from first ultrasound onward and most of the minor ones too!  The only thing that they didn't hate and detest every second of their new home was dance class, so we have all been REALLY encouraging the dancing and we've planned to

Pages