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by: c ur self -
I have not used drugs, but, I do pray, believe, exercise, and use self talk, it all helps...Also I swapped to decaf. a few year ago...(which definitely helped w/ restfulness) At night I pray, read my devotion and some scripture and maybe a little in a novel to help me relax and get sleepy....I will never personally take a drug, to help me deal with a self absorbed individual....I've already exhausted myself and given many years of love and caring to someone who has no thankfulness...It's time to walk away...>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
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by: honestly -
Thanks Saudade; I hope you find what you need, and are able to proceed safely with whatever course of action you take. To add to the above, I have been married to someone with ADHD for twenty three years. It was diagnosed this year. He is moody, disorganised, doesn't hear me when I speak and extremely defensive around any perceived criticism- any comment that is in fact not lavish praise. He has often been angry, but he has never, ever raised a hand to me. ADHD traits are often similar between individuals...>>> on Forum topic - Rage meltdown ending on physical abuse adhd partner
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by: Off the roller ... -
And would you believe... the doctor perscribed the same anti depressant for my husband a few months earlier than me and it did not work as well for him as it did for me. Just a random thought as well.>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
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by: Off the roller ... -
I went on an anti-depressant to cope (I spoke frankly wiht my doctor about my situation and for the time being, I wasn't going anywhere) and it has helped. But to be clear.. it's helped ME and only me. And I've realised that it's not to cope with my spouses disregulation, but moreso so that I can stay focused and get the sleep I need and my emotions don't run away from me too much. But my doctor was EXTREMELY strict on instructions on if i was to start taking it, i.e. I had to keep working out, eating well...>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
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by: saudade -
Thank you so much for your answer. I am aware of the issue and its gravity. Still, I will take a look at the links. I am not excusing it at all, I was just trying to get more educated on ADHD (and othe connected syntoms) and change views with people who had similiar experiences. Thank you so much, have a nice evening!>>> on Forum topic - Rage meltdown ending on physical abuse adhd partner
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by: J -
I'm also going to show my SO some articles about this phenomenon and tell her this is what's currently happening with me. I've also found an article specific to women with ADHD and the burnout cycle ( which I'm now more than a little sure she has too ...she's got all the signs....like 10 out of 10 ) and see what she thinks? Wish me luck on that part....we'll see how that goes. J>>> on Forum topic - Symptom, Response, Response
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by: c ur self -
What cause's a marriage's to fail so often is there is no US...No human value, and being just a support system, plus the egoistical attitude's toward a spouse are all symptoms of seeking to have a life within a life...I had a wife for many years, (lost to Breast C) and we were an US...There was respect, communication, and there was daily desire to be the One, coming from both of us...There was ownership....We had different likes, and hobbies...But we both loved being the one, the US....There was no hiding...>>> on Forum topic - Confidence
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by: J -
I've been reading up on this and the effect it's been having on me and I definitely have most of the symptoms. At the very least, my SO has spotted some of them already and has been pointing them out to me without knowing anything about this cycle. The forgetful part especially which has been a source of irritation at times for her. This isn't just normal ADHD forgetful. It's more like spaced out "thousand yard stare" type forgetful with brain fog. Just yesterday for example, at the end of my work day, I...>>> on Forum topic - Symptom, Response, Response
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by: J -
to this post later once the ghosts have finished visiting me.>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
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by: honestly -
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/... this is a UK charity, sorry - but your English is certainly good enough to read the content here! can I draw your attention to myths 1, 10, and 14 in particular. Alcohol is not an explanation, nor are mental health issues, and it is not a brief loss of control. You also are already blaming yourself (you didn't try hard enough to support him with his issues before). Don't blame yourself- and when someone shows you who they are,...>>> on Forum topic - Rage meltdown ending on physical abuse adhd partner
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by: Swedish coast -
Thank you for your thoughts. Yes of course. It's my withdrawal of support that brings out the nastiness in him. I think your wife who seems to have acted egoistically for the most part will show this for the same reason. She has naturally been very lucky to have received all this from you, and her life will be harder now. The blame and depreciation is a bitter pill to swallow, though. Were we just a support system with no human value at all? My husband hasn't been frivolous or taken advantage with joy,...>>> on Forum topic - Confidence
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by: J -
I'll come back and fix that. Lol>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
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by: c ur self -
Reading you, is like a mirror in some ways...(also I have empathy for you, and respect, for wanting to face all of your feelings head on)...Summing up a lot of what you said in this post and the previous one three days ago...Attempting to simplify what you have stated in these two posts, in my own direct way....(your marriage relationship experience's, along w/ mine and many here) What jumps out overall, is the picture of incompatibility...You talk about your short comings in patience...What I experienced...>>> on Forum topic - Confidence
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by: c ur self -
When you type out your title in the top box, then put your post in the second box, it will not print...You have to skip a box and type your post in the 3rd box, titled Body...If you already have it typed in the second box, you can cut and paste it into the body box....LOL....think that's right, it happened to me a time or two....>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
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by: Swedish coast -
Catterfly, I would imagine none of us can create that safety. Especially when we don't get honesty from the ADHD partner, so don't know what we need to know. Thank you for telling about the book, I found it excellent. I will give it to my sons eventually!>>> on Forum topic - The stranger who now lives in my house
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by: Catterfly -
Hi Tat, I went on meds in January and wouldn't have survived without them. They're giving me perspective to make sound decisions (vs fetal position and bed - what I would likely have chosen). There's definitely a place for them. But I also agree with others about taking a hard look at root causes.>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
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by: Swedish coast -
I'm so sorry. It's heartbreaking.>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
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by: Catterfly -
Hi J, I've seen a couple of your messages now that are blank. We've seen that happen before; make sure you're writing the body of the text into the commentary area, not the title.>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
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by: 1Melody1 -
I took anti-depressants for a short time. I had situational depression. My doctor said the only real way to solve it was to change the situation. She was 100% right. I tried two meds that wreaked havoc on my body and quickly saw how wrong it was for me to medicate MYself to manage HIS condition. I just had to do the hard thing and get out. I also took sleeping pills to get through the final years of the marriage. I was only sleeping an hour a night out of stress. I now have permanent cognitive decline from...>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
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by: adhd32 -
Why are you looking to medicate yourself? That is like putting a bandaid on skin cancer. Treat the problem instead of tip toeing around it. It sounds as though you are afraid to deal with his issues since the RSD has been more intense over the last 2 years. If you are being abused please leave. He won't change without treatment. Ask yourself why you are willing to sacrifice your own happiness for someone you're only married to for 8 years with the last 25% of the marriage in misery. Get into therapy...>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
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