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by: adhd32 -
Dupe. Sorry.>>> on Forum topic - Perpetual Cycle of Hurt
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by: adhd32 -
Put down your phone or game controller and wash the dishes. Get the kids bathed and ready for bed. Vacuum the floors. Scrub the toilet. Cook dinner. Make your own appointments. Focus on your grooming. Wash and fold the clothes. Get help for your condition and follow the advice. Get a coach. Hold yourself accountable. Ask her what you can do to help and then do it with a grateful heart. Ask her on a surprise date and arrange childcare and dinner reservation. Be an engaged partner not someone...>>> on Forum topic - Perpetual Cycle of Hurt
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by: Swedish coast -
Sorry she’s angry with you. I’ve been the non partner. There’s one thing I’ve found: the outcome does matter to the non partner. No matter how good your intentions are, and how loving you are, she will feel you’re disinterested if you don’t listen to her. You really can’t expect a non partner to not react to their perceptions. All humans do. If her senses tells her something, she’ll believe it, no matter what diagnose or symptom on your part can be blamed for it. I guess her anger is a...>>> on Forum topic - Perpetual Cycle of Hurt
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by: amespie78 -
I recently posted on a women's relationship page about how I seem to be overly focused on my husband's behaviors that deeply impact how I look at him - to the point of disgust and contempt. Behaviors like excessive video gaming, excessive drinking and eating (gluttony), porn addiction & masturbation, limitless spending, no desire for physical well-being, poor time management and focus, etc. . . I know I should focus on my own page, and I do plenty and am very aware, but these behaviors have...>>> on Forum topic - A small revelation
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by: honestly -
Absolutely brilliant observation. Thank you for this. It perfectly encapsulates how I have been feeling. Also: poor child.>>> on Forum topic - A small revelation
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by: Swedish coast -
I relate to absolutely everything you wrote. For me, reading it is validating and adds nuance, so please don’t feel selfish. It’s strange to know in hindsight a disability in somebody else has transformed one into a caretaker. My friends who go way back tell me it’s out of character. So my entire adult life is out of character. And the unhappiness, the desperate attempts to secure things that mattered, the social isolation, that was all just side effects of somebody else’s difficulties...>>> on Forum topic - Protecting Myself
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by: TXlady -
I am married to an ADHD man who has been blessed with many talents and abilities and is successful in his career. He can be very fun, intuitive, thoughtful, and attentive. His impulsiveness has been limited to not speaking to others with a filter (which can lead to embarrassment, hurt feelings and anger) and buying the occasional expensive purchase we may or may not use. So in comparison to some stories on here that is pretty mild. On the flip side he is: forgetful-he manages to remember (at...>>> on Forum topic - Finally Divorcing My ADHD Husband
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by: aloneintwo -
In the trenches. Jobless but looking. I still have hope. But yes from happy go lucky to irritated repeatedly>>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?
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by: Ethan_Cole05 -
I'm so sorry you're going through this — no one deserves to feel unsafe or scared in their own relationship. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's okay to acknowledge how deeply this is affecting you. Please take care of yourself and consider reaching out to someone you trust or a professional who can support you through this. is comment ka tital kya do '>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: Ethan_Cole05 -
I'm so sorry you're going through this — no one deserves to feel unsafe or scared in their own relationship. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's okay to acknowledge how deeply this is affecting you. Please take care of yourself and consider reaching out to someone you trust or a professional who can support you through this.>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: adhd32 -
Sometimes friends see more than we think. Maybe they are relieved that you are out of the marriage and finally able to be you. Maybe they saw you for the first time being relaxed and confident without the worry of what your ex would do or say at the gathering. I'm glad you are rebuilding your life and have chosen to get out and do things that are difficult for you. Moving on is hard, staying stuck is easy. Glad you chose the challenge.>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: adhd32 -
Sorry for this, I know how it feels. My undiagnosed ADHD husband did something similar on my birthday after having a very nice dinner. He just went out of control out of nowhere when I mentioned that there was a new a traffic pattern on the road ahead. I thought he would have preferred to take an alternate route before getting stuck without any other options. But he went off the rails without any provocation, screaming at me because "he has been driving for xx years and doesn't need to be told...>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: Tampopo -
Hi! New here and wanting to say… I stumbled on this site just after going through an exact “happy chat direct road to screaming” event with my ADHD partner, and I’m currently turning circle in my neighborhood because I felt I needed to leave the house. I don’t know what to say but I hear you and I’m sorry you’re feeling so down and disconnected. These events, however frequent or rare always remind me I have to walk on eggshell and it’s so damn tiresome.>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: aloneintwo -
I also have ADHD or ADD. But he basically weaponizes his ADHD to stay the same>>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?
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by: 1Melody1 -
That's such great news!!! Way to go for facing your fears. It's interesting how much we felt defined by our partners in these situations and how well we can find our own way when we're not impacted by all the space that they and the stress occupied. I'm so happy you could reconnect with these people. ❤️>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: Swedish coast -
Dear forum friends who advised about the party. It turned out so well! I spent most of the evening with the old friends, six of them, and it was almost completely pain free. I could never have guessed it. We spoke of a lot of things, I listened mostly, nobody mentioned my divorce. Back in those days when spending time with them was incredibly painful, I had no idea of the ADD diagnosis, or could even make a connection between the pain, ridicule and my husband. But now it’s strikingly...>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: Dagmar -
You only think they chose him over you, maybe he had a different story. It's also entirely possible they think you're the stick in the mud. My husband has some friends who don't like me because they have only heard his side of the story. Before you go, sit down and come up with a one-sentence statement about what happened. Something like "I've missed you since husband and I broke up. His unmedicated ADHD put such a strain on our lives that I needed a lot of time to recover, but I'm glad...>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: 1Melody1 -
Good luck, Swedish Coast... I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well!! Thank goodness we have each other in this community! ❤️>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: Swedish coast -
Melody, Sickandtired, Honestly, you all just showed how great friends can be. I’ll go to the party, bearing your excellent advice about focus and conversation topics in mind. I’ll carry your kindness with me. You can’t know just how much this helped today and how grateful I am. Have a nice weekend.>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: honestly -
When we’re feeling vulnerable and worn and exhausted and jealous (and I have felt all these things) it is easy to also overthink and over interpret what is going on with others. I’ve done it. It’s largely because, I think, our needs are not remotely being met by our partners and so we look to friends and their lives and feel awful, and we want what they have and we need their support but there’s no way they can fill that need because they are busy with their own lives and they have their own partners...>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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