Recent forum posts (all topics)

So what is a person to do when there is someone who bugs the crap out of you to the point of distraction making you less than you could be?  Before I was married I liked myself and was proud of who I was.  What has changed that I have lost my ability to be a whole, secure, contented entity without resentment?  Why have I permitted myself to be thrown off balance?

My wife and i have been married for 3 years, but have been together for 9 years total. We moved to a different city 9 months ago and had a terrible move. The previous tenants in our house were "moving this weekend" for six weeks. So we ended up sitting in our house with boxes everywhere, with no jobs(and i lost the job that i had lined up bc we couldnt move in time for me to go to training), our kitchen was packed, so we ate a lot of junk food and gained weight, and we burned through all of our savings. We were both extremely depressed and struggled to do anything at all besides sleep.

 

I need everyone's help.  Please forgive me ahead of time for the long post.  This is my first post and I need advice or reassurance.  Not really sure.

Hi All! I am new to the forum and new to being the spouse of a diagnosed ADD partner, though we have known for some time that something was "different" about my dear husband. I have started this post about a dozen times because I want to be respectful of my husband but also give an accurate account of life as it is.

I've learned of codependency. And I see my past patterns in all of these threads. If my life was a football field, I'd always be down at his end of the field - never at my end, and never sharing the 50-yard line. Reading books to help him, modifying my life to handle him, giving up my day to help organize him, recovering from his unexpected 180 of mood and attack-invalidate-stonewall-abandon abuse cycle.

I am completely fed up and cannot do this much longer. My younger child's ADHD symptoms have exploded in the last six months. Nothing seems to be helping much- he has manic type temper tantrums the last two mornings, he bosses me around and is manipulative, he is continually defiant and hits and doesn't listen at all. Then he does this angry yelling thing and literally tries to control just about every situation for his benefit. Both his brother and him joke around play hitting me, and sometimes the younger one does actually hit me on purpose.

I'm married and have three step children. I basically raised all of them and they do know who their father is but he has never played a role in their life. So here it is; my wife has been diagnosed with ADHD, and her daughter and son.  

This will be hard to explain but it is a pattern I have noticed over the years.   Here is an example from today.   We were looking at an area of the lawn we want to turn into a garden.   It faces south and on the right side there is a tree.  I have been watching this spot over months to see where the sun is.   It turns out the right 1/4 of it gets much less sun.   Today I explained this to him and he would not acknowledge my observation.   Instead, he started explaining the science of how that could not be.

My husband is ADHD and I'm not; we've been married for 17 years and have 2 children. He told me last night that he wants to leave the marriage. I'm devastated and am shaking.

During the summers he does a lot of boating with his boating friends. They're a community who likes to tie their cruiser boats together and camp all weekend. It seems to provide the perfect sensory overload that makes him feel at peace: lots of people around, music from each boat, drinking, partying. He said he wants to find someone who is more like him, who likes to party like that.

My wife and I have been together for 5 years (Married 1.5). I was diagnosed with ADHD just after we were married.  The diagnosis explained a lot of the problems we were having and some of my feelings for many years. Fast forward to now and we are still having problems. While I am working on myself (albeit slow progress), I don't feel like she wants to take any ownership about her role in our dynamics.  (I do plenty of this to the point where I am always feeling like the "identified patient.")