Recent forum posts (all topics)

If a husband is motivated by his pain and not yours, then you’ve got to think through how to help him experience that pain—pain not caused by you, but as a consequence of his actions. This is such a crucial distinction: you are not to intentionally cause him pain; rather, you’re stopping your previous practice of rescuing him from the painful consequences of the foolish choices he is making.   ...Gary Thomas, Counselor.

I need some advice:  clearly all of us are posting here because we are unhappy.  For myself, I have run out of things to try and I am done trying to fix my marriage.  There is no marriage.  We are roommates and nothing more.  Having said that...how can I change MY mindset to be a more positive person overall.  It is a real struggle for me right now.  During the Lenten season I try to not only give up something (TV after 8pm) but also doing something.  I am not comfortable in my own house, I look for reasons to stay out, which is not fair to my sons (ages 15 and 17).

This is your standard "I'm new here, so glad I found you"  typical post.  

   My wife and I haven't been together very long, but the issues associated with her ADHD have affected us in many ways. Lately it has been very bad and her threats to divorce me have increased dramatically. She claims everything is my fault and blames for the marriage failing. I'm far from perfect, but I see so many of our problems stemming from her ADHD. 

Your spouse notices that you been acting differently lately, acting down, distant, aloof. Even before you realize it. You think about it, about why, and ultimately it comes down to your spouse's ADHD and feeling disappointed about things or something.  You know you need to accept it, suck it up, and move on. You know it's not something that he can control or does on purpose. It's not negative, it's not hateful, it's not hurtful....it's just disappointing...in how it effects you and the lives you planned together.

I've been reading everyone's posts for a while, so thank you all for helping me to feel less alone.  I really need to tell someone what is happening as I cannot tell anyone I know. My husband is ADHD, has been since he was a kid but his parents chose to take him off medication. He was rediagnosed three years ago and I read everything I could on the subject. He wasn't interested in learning, wouldn't even let me speak about it, and just took the 30mg of Adderall and an anti-depressant that his GP gave him. I said for years that his medication was wrong.

Well, I am the ADHD, but I thought I'd post something POSITIVE.

I'm new here- I have been reading, and seeing so many sentences that mirror my life.  I've always known something is missing in our 15 year marriage.  No emotional connection. I'm an emotional person, H is devoid of feelings.  We tried Dr. Phil's relationship rescue.  Well, I did anyway.  H has ZERO defining moments.  He has no memories of feeling any kind of emotions.  He can't name the happiest times, saddest, anything. 

Question here.  I've noticed a few common themes with those of us who were or are in long term marriages with a person with ADHD. (Especially when it hasn't been controlled)