Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have posted on here a few times, and it's been awhile since my last post. I think my last few posts were about how my husband and I were going to separate, after 12 years of marriage. We have 4 kids together and a house. That was several months ago, and fast forward to now. He finally moved out in January. I was looking forward to him moving out, so we could move on with our lives, but I was also very scared. In the end, it has gone really well, so far, and most of my fears were unnecessary. The hardest part, was telling the kids. The two oldest (12 &10) seem to be doing fine.

This is my first post on this forum which I have been following from the side lines for some time now. I even bought Melissa's book on ADHD and marriage. I have been with my partner for almost 4 years now. He grew up in an orphanage where he was emotionally and sexually abused as a child. Has been a heroine addict, then an alcoholic. When we met, he was on his way to rehab. I have tried every which way to help and assist this man, and it has not all be futile. He was diagnosed as having ADHD early 2016 and started on Concerta.

Anyone know where the LIKE button on this site goes to?  Will this turn up on Facebook or email or where?

:.)

If a husband is motivated by his pain and not yours, then you’ve got to think through how to help him experience that pain—pain not caused by you, but as a consequence of his actions. This is such a crucial distinction: you are not to intentionally cause him pain; rather, you’re stopping your previous practice of rescuing him from the painful consequences of the foolish choices he is making.   ...Gary Thomas, Counselor.

I need some advice:  clearly all of us are posting here because we are unhappy.  For myself, I have run out of things to try and I am done trying to fix my marriage.  There is no marriage.  We are roommates and nothing more.  Having said that...how can I change MY mindset to be a more positive person overall.  It is a real struggle for me right now.  During the Lenten season I try to not only give up something (TV after 8pm) but also doing something.  I am not comfortable in my own house, I look for reasons to stay out, which is not fair to my sons (ages 15 and 17).

This is your standard "I'm new here, so glad I found you"  typical post.  

   My wife and I haven't been together very long, but the issues associated with her ADHD have affected us in many ways. Lately it has been very bad and her threats to divorce me have increased dramatically. She claims everything is my fault and blames for the marriage failing. I'm far from perfect, but I see so many of our problems stemming from her ADHD. 

Your spouse notices that you been acting differently lately, acting down, distant, aloof. Even before you realize it. You think about it, about why, and ultimately it comes down to your spouse's ADHD and feeling disappointed about things or something.  You know you need to accept it, suck it up, and move on. You know it's not something that he can control or does on purpose. It's not negative, it's not hateful, it's not hurtful....it's just disappointing...in how it effects you and the lives you planned together.