Recent forum posts (all topics)

My boyfriend has ADHD and we've been together for two years now.  Throughout that whole time he's had problems with sever anger outbursts which would turn into fights lasting hours and sometimes days.  I won't get into details but I will say his treatment towards me during these fights was mentally/emotionally abusive.  It's like he flicks a switch and suddenly he's a completely different person, screaming at me, spitting, etc. I'm sure a lot of you can relate.  Once I pointed out during a fight that he was abusive, he started to put more effort into dealing with his anger issues.

Hi everyone, my first post so some background.

I've been married 12 years. Years ago my wife mentioned she had a previous ADD diagnosis. Actually at the time I found Melissa's book and read the first chapter online. Even found this website but didn't go any further. At the time my wife got mad I was researching ADD and told me "It's my issue". I didn't see how I could change her mind so I just dealt with it. 

Denial in ADHD I believe is not actually an ADHD problem. For guys, anything that looks as though they are lacking in something or are unable to control in their life, they will attempt to deny. There is even an scientific article detailing how men actually have very healthy attitudes towards improving on depression, yet are unlikely to seek help from a therapist or from others. You can imagine what potentially being listed as having ADHD ('deficient', 'disorder') will do to them. What will make them more likely to seek help is if you reword it.

Hello everyone... I am the non-adhd person. I am really scared about getting married! I just don't know if I have the patience for this. I hate to say it but I feel like a mother to a 36 year old kid. I have read other peoples struggles and I totally relate. He moves stuff or throws things away but doesn't believe he did it. We are the only 2 in the house! (He says "if I did that then I am sorry" I want to strangle him when he says that!!) I make a chore list because he "doesn't know what to do" so he wanted it written down... he has never looked at it.

Hi everyone. My husband has ADHD and it has taken a huge toll on our relationship, due to infidelity and aggression on top of all the other stuff. We have a baby girl who is crawling and I am terrified of leaving her in his care. I have found ADHD medication lying around on the carpet because he doesn't store them properly. He empties the contents of his pockets (nails, screws) in random locations without thinking about it. She has been hurt a number of times under his care because of him being forgetful and distracted. He tries to drink hot coffee while giving her a bath.

I'm the non ADHD spouse.   We bought the ADHD Effect on Marriage book and we were both reading it.  It was very emotional for my spouse.  We both were amazed at how it seemed someone was watching us live our lives and writing a book about it!  I went on to read The Dance of Anger and found it very insightful.  My dilemna is that my spouse has not finished reading the first book and shows no signs of doing so.   Is there a way for me to ask him about it,  remind him or otherwise suggest he get back to it without him feeling threatened or judged?

Hello Community,

My husband and I have been reading a book, Created for Connection, by Dr. Sue Johnson, that is unlike the shelves of others we have read before. Dr. Johnson leads with the attachment between a child and parent, and relates the depth of this attachment (not the child/parent roles, of course), or Connection, to that which a person seeks in their spouse.

I had taken the time to make many special foods you like for the 4th of July weekend - they were sitting in the fridge just needing to be cooked.  At 6:30p I told you I was going to go work in the garden, you did not say a word as you were focused on watching tv and on your ipad.  At 7:30pm, I went into the house just to tell you to come outside it was nice out, you said you would be out shortly.  I continued to work outside and figured you decided to stay inside as I had not seen you.

What is the most difficult part (or what seems to inflict the most long term negative impact on your mindset and emotions) of your lives, when it comes to the effects on you, in seeking to live in a peaceful way w/ your spouse?? 

For me it's (hands down) the emotional and psychological effects I experience on my person, from her denial...Denial always produces the same attributes in a mind...No ownership of actions, self-justification and blame....