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My fiance and I have known each other for 20 years and been dating for 3. He has always been a quiet guy. 

He has told me that he has trouble focusing. He does alot of little projects to help with that.. model tanks, Star Wars stuff, converting VHS to DVD.  

Its always something.  He has said many times... I think I have ADD. 

Its like something is wrong and he can't see to put his finger on it.

Based on what I read up on... I think there is some truth to it.

Hi,

Today, another thing has occurred to me, another mechanism that I think weighs heavily on my life and my ADHD spouse's.

I've been thinking a lot how it's possible that she feels so dissatisfied with her/our life so often, when in fact so many good things happen in it. And I think I started to notice a pattern that might be quite revealing.

Something happened this weekend that made me realize that I've seen a pattern.  A very, very odd and unhealthy pattern.  My husband lies and hides.  All the time and about stupid stuff that shouldn't matter as well as big stuff that does matter.  I've known this for a long time.  When he went to therapy briefly, the only piece of information he gave me was that he determined that he lied all the time to everyone.

I'm non-ADHD wife married to ADHD man with 2 previous marriages, 2 children from each (all adults now).  Being older we have no children from our marriage.  We've had all the usual ADHD problems around  chaos, time, chores, anger outbursts etc, and I can mostly deal with this stuff.

Here's another thing that's been bothering me.

Living in the same space is difficult for many reasons. But being in the same room at the same time, that's the real difficulty. On a very basic level.

So, for instance, if I need to go through a door, and my ADHD angel is standing there, when I approach her, I need to say: "Please, move aside, because I need to go through this door." Otherwise, it's like she doesn't see me.

And when I say this, she reacts like she's being scolded.

Do you feel like your ADHD partner often has the urge to provoke conflicts around that time? I mean Christmas, birthdays, etc.? Because mine certainly does. I've noticed, over the years, we spend those jolly days not even knowing if we're still a couple. It seems like there's excessive need of stimulation that results in uncontrolled anger in my ADHD spouse.

I thought maybe I don't need to explain this further. If this happens you you, you'll know what I mean.

Please, share your thoughts.

Hi..I am new here.

I have a great deal of experience with adhd. Most of my family has it (mother, brother, aunt, cousins, grandmother), and my daughter also has it. I have, however, never been in a relationship with someone who has it.

I have known my boyfriend since childhood (we're both 33). Allthough our romantic an intimate relationship is new. There has also been a significant amount of years with no contact (both have had long-term relationships, we have kids etc).

Ok, this will be a rant. But also a brief summary of facts. Please bear with me.

Me and my ADHD spouse have been living separately. We're not married. She blames many of the issues we're facing on this. She says it's complicating her daily routine.

However, we never really got through that point when you really feel like you could live with the other person, and you truly want it.

I need to catch my breath from time to time. If that doesn't happen, I'm no use.

So, here's a story. If my ADHD spouse is late for our meeting, she usually calls me and says she's gonna be late. I want and need to express my dissatisfaction, but also want to be compassionate, because I know she needs that more than scolding. So I put it like this:

I actually wrote a whole story here but I feel it's actually better to ask a question.

When you're in a relationship with someone with ADD and they don't meet your expectations, what do you do or think?

Also what do you do, when they do something you dislike that's caused by their condition but you know you always have to be accepting?