Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi there. I have lurkerd/posted before. I live in Japan, my husband is Japanese. My husband has told me that he has ADHD, and he has never taken meds for it. He's caused scenes in public, we can no longer go to certain places together. When he has a temper tantrum he throws things, yells, and calls me every name under the sun. No filter, no impulse control. We've almost gone bankrupt 3x and I have had to bail him out each time. Our sex life dried up on the day we signed our marriage documents.

I just want to thank you guys for all the help and advice you have given me over the last couple of months. I have gone from being anxious, depressed, confused, lost, sad, grieving, to healthy. It's amazing. It really is. My relationship with my husband has been getting better and better over the last couple of months. 

I was just wondering how many this happens to or what to do about it.  Say your SO asks you something and you answer it how you remember, or how you think you remember it because this is what your mind is telling you what happened. I feel I do this a lot but it gets perceived as me lying about it and I dont know what to say or do so I just go along with it and say Im lying about whatever it is. Its hurting my marriage, not the only thing but still a big part of it.

Ok, so l have just joined the forum and 30 minutes ago l was pulling my hair out and l thought my head was going to explode. My husband of 22years was repeating the same worries that had been bugging him for the last two years and l was seriously losing it as l give him the same advice over and over again.

I need advice.

I filed for divorce and it should be finalized in March. In the meantime, husband won't leave the house and seems to be in denial about everything. 

Dear lord--does it NEVER get better???  If you have read any of my posts, you know my back story--the last 5 years have been awful.  At our first January 2017 marriage counselor appointment I finally told both the counselor and DH that I just cannot continue to pretend our marriage is going to get any better.  We are civil roommates on a good day, let's just leave it at that.  Most days I am totally fine with that, even relieved.  But...weekends...god I hate weekends.

I don't post often but read often.  Helps me keep my sanity.  23 years in w/ADD husband.  Most of the issues discussed here apply off/on to us at any given time.  He's a great man and we have foundation of unconditional love, which is a blessing not had by all...but ADD issues are a constant battle.  We're leaving for 3 night getaway for anniversary tomorrow and have been sniping at each other for days.  How sad this makes me.  So much dysfunctional communication.  He thinks he can't do anything good enough.  I feel like I'm blamed for everything.

Ms. Orlev,

I am a 43 year old male on the brink of divorce.  My wife and I have been separated for over five months.

We separated at her request because I was not present for her as a husband or as a father to our son since he was born over two years ago.

I didn't put her and our son first.  I didn't even put them second or third!  I put work, coaching other children and my own needs ahead of her and our son.

I has officially diagnosed on Monday, so thats good and it shows that Im not just crazy.  I have problems communicating with my wife though. I havent started therapy yet so I turn to you all to see if I can get some pointers or something.

I started seeing a therapist a few months back. We've been mostly dealing with my self-confidence issues. I've already seen some important benefits. Somewhere around the time I started my therapy, my partner of 15 years (husband for 11) was diagnosed with ADHD. ANd suddenly all the suffering started making sense. (Btw, it is great that his diagnosis and me working on my issues have coincided, otherwise I don't think we would make it).