So as most of you know - I have been trying to "act from love" for the past few months, in response to my husband really stepping things up around the house, and for my OWN well being as i would rather always act from love than not.
I wanted to make a positive post about the progress that my wife is making in accepting her part of our relationship problems which I can start by saying her end of the legitimate things she has had to deal with on my end? In our own way....each of us has had to put up with more than we have been able to deal with effectively ( and learn to cope ) with the unacceptable a times which I could easily evaluate as a category in in itself?
I had a phone conversation this morning with my investment advisor. He and his assistant have done much to help with the post-divorce paperwork. The latest thing is that I found out only last week that ex-h didn't return one of the forms and so I'm still listed as co-owner of an account and thus on the hook for related taxes. I've contacted ex-h at least a dozen times asking to talk about the matter so I can figure out how to proceed; no responses.
I had this conversation with a good friend yesterday.
My husband so self un-aware, he can't accurately answer questions to get a proper diagnosis. He always answers questions in the way he would like things to be. Not how they are. I am so frustrated that he keeps "failing" the ADHD questionnaire. He's working in a different state, so I couldn't be there for his doctor's visit.
My SO of four years recently separated from me. After weeks of us being apart, he explained that the reason for the break up is because he thinks he is no longer in love with me. He is diagnosed ADHD but is untreated. Stress has been affecting his life and I'm afraid the added stress caused his symptoms to worsen. Reading up about how ADHD affects relationships has truly shed light on some of the issues we had in our relationship. He often told me he thought he didn't love me enough because he didn't pay attention to me even though he wanted to.
I looked up conflict style on Google and took a few tests to open my awareness of my marriage conflict and the loss of our intimacy. I also plugged in my guesses for H in these online quizzes. It was eye-opening to me why our conversations are filled with chaos and our intimacy is missing. I don't feel safe even in a simple discussion with him. Here is why:
In my previous post recently I put a link to a site concerning an article......NOT video/audio. Once at the site on the left hand side scroll until you see an article titled....Reconciliation With Your Hardened Wife. THIS is what I am referring to. The written and video do not seem to contain the same info.
I am not sure the link is working on this.
I am somewhat numb and relieved(?) after reading this article.. http://www.ultimatehusband.com/main.htm
It is faith based so there may be some who don't wish to check it out, however it is also human nature so if you want to take GOD out of it....feel free. There are MANY here that I believe will BIG TIME RELATE to the "body" of the words.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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