Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been spending my days stepping back and observing my H, how he is when he is alone and when he is interacting with others( including myself). 

While the many aspects of adhd are apparent I find they are DOABLE ( not without ups and downs) but NOT deal breakers for me. 

I wish I knew how to talk to my spouse about her anger, which I feel is growing out of control for the last 3 years. I can see and understand the things that cause that initial spark... but we haven't yet gotten to a place where we can cap off or even talk about her runaway anger. She says dozens of things which she tells me later aren't true. She spits out hurtful names and slams her hands on the tabletop. I see sweat beading down her face. She switches to 30 seconds of crying and then starts screaming again. 

Hi all - great site!

My ADHD partner J and I knew each other briefly through a mutual group of friends for 3 years. I was with someone else at the time. We crossed paths again 5 months ago; I was now single. Turns out, J has kept an eye on me all these years. It was deep unconditional love, something neither one of us has felt before, we were inseparable.

J and I pretty much lived together traveling through the country for work. We had this all figured out. No secrets about the past, clarified expectations, open communication and future plans.

Hi.  Just looking for some moral support as I literally get down and dirty with dealing with my ex-h's stuff:  cleaning out the basement.  This is an ongoing process, but last night, I went into the worst room down there and encountered a dead mouse and lots of mouse droppings on storage surfaces.  This morning, I hauled approximately 10 heavy cans of paint and stain up and outside, to the garage.  And this is the easy stuff, the things I can carry by myself.  I'm not feeling warm and fuzzy about my ex right now and I'm depressed about the many, many hours of these chores ahead of me.

i am the non-ADHD fiance for 7 years to a man with ADHD as well as sex addiction (SA).    He was only diagnosed in the last 2 months.  I knew very early on that he was exceedingly messy.   But since he was away about 75% of the time and had his own home I could cope.   I would happily clean up after my week with him and live normally until the chaos of another week with him.    I found out shortly after this the cheating and it took me 2 years to realize he also has a sex addiction (craigslist, prostitutes are his thing).  

The good

- he does agree he has ADD and SA

My husband and I are different people financially. Up until I went to university for a Master's Degree, and then got married and bought a house in a four year span, I used to be on top of my finances. Poor spending in university and then poor boundary setting with my husband and poor financial choices in the last four years have really set me back. I have good months and move many steps ahead, and I have bad months and move a step back. 

Dumb though it may seem, I'd like a non-ADHD partner's view on what comes to mind when you think of these three things. I've been told multiple times that this is how my wife wants me to put the brakes on a runaway argument. Between nursing my own hurts, panicking, and overthinking, I fear that I've lost the ability to truly look into and speak from my heart. Big, meaningful, long-term changes to my ADHD behaviors is the big-picture answer... but that doesn't help in the split-second decisions of a heated argument.