Recent forum posts (all topics)

I was inspired by JJamieson's recent posts on a different thread to think about the following: describing the problems in my relationship without beginning with "he" (my ex-husband) "did X" or "he is X."  I think this is a useful exercise because accepting responsibility for our own choices and behavior is important.  Here are some of my "I" statements; I hope others will chime in with their own.

I was unhappy with my relationship because I was afraid I would get into legal trouble based on my then-husband's financial dealings.

My father was OCD and the dominate parental figure in my upbringing. He was highly organized so I struggled to keep up. With his help maintained good grades and got through college and a Masters program in Computer Science. Though feeling always well supported and love, I always felt massive guilt because I could not stay on task as well as he.

I have been married to my ADHD spouse for almost 10 years now.  He told me he was ADHD when we met but he said now that he was older it didn't affect him like it did when he was young.  He took meds (Ritalin) while in college in order to be able to focus and get through 4 years to get his degree, but when it started affecting his heart he got off of it.  He also had some counseling during that time (all of this before we met).  Since we have been married he has been unemployed more than half the time and has had over 50 jobs, the longest lasting one being a little less than a year.  Most of

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus then I think when we drop the tape measure on a clinical level adhd thinker and one who is not....You come up with Mercury and Pluto....It seems this difference is or can be an insurmountable challenge to many marriage relationships. When I was 4 or 5, the little girl next door (she was maybe 4 or 5 also) came outside and got naked.

I have been spending my days stepping back and observing my H, how he is when he is alone and when he is interacting with others( including myself). 

While the many aspects of adhd are apparent I find they are DOABLE ( not without ups and downs) but NOT deal breakers for me. 

I wish I knew how to talk to my spouse about her anger, which I feel is growing out of control for the last 3 years. I can see and understand the things that cause that initial spark... but we haven't yet gotten to a place where we can cap off or even talk about her runaway anger. She says dozens of things which she tells me later aren't true. She spits out hurtful names and slams her hands on the tabletop. I see sweat beading down her face. She switches to 30 seconds of crying and then starts screaming again. 

Hi all - great site!

My ADHD partner J and I knew each other briefly through a mutual group of friends for 3 years. I was with someone else at the time. We crossed paths again 5 months ago; I was now single. Turns out, J has kept an eye on me all these years. It was deep unconditional love, something neither one of us has felt before, we were inseparable.

J and I pretty much lived together traveling through the country for work. We had this all figured out. No secrets about the past, clarified expectations, open communication and future plans.

Hi.  Just looking for some moral support as I literally get down and dirty with dealing with my ex-h's stuff:  cleaning out the basement.  This is an ongoing process, but last night, I went into the worst room down there and encountered a dead mouse and lots of mouse droppings on storage surfaces.  This morning, I hauled approximately 10 heavy cans of paint and stain up and outside, to the garage.  And this is the easy stuff, the things I can carry by myself.  I'm not feeling warm and fuzzy about my ex right now and I'm depressed about the many, many hours of these chores ahead of me.