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I apologize for the following rant of an ADHDer, but I just wanted to get this out there. . . . .

My boyfriend (who has been coping with ADHD his whole life) is 36 years old.  We began dating at the beginning of this year.  Soon after we started dating, he mentioned his ADHD and the medication he was taking to help with symptoms.  While I was glad he shared this information with me, it was during our courting phase and there were absolutely no harmful ADHD relationship issues even remotely occurring at that time.

Since I have gotten great advice from here before, I hope that someone will also comment on this. This is partially a continuation of the topic about my boyfriend playing a martyr. I had some time to think and observe and would like to hear your feedback on some additional problems. 

The more I am together with my boyfriend, the more it seems to me that he is not fully committed. It is this weird combination of being caring and not really fully present in the relationship. What do I mean by this?

I just pulled up my history on this site and my first post was 2 years, and 8 months ago...WOW:)...I've been thinking that I should step away from the forum for a while...It's hard! :)...I've come to really depend on this site...It's been a great dose of reality,...But, on the other hand it can keep me a little to focused on the negatives....So after this post I am planning on pulling (will probably go read only a while, cold turkey may be to much:)..) back for a period of time....

Trying to put this succinctly because I am new to being hopeful about the marriage......but this time....this is ....different.

My husband and I don't go out very much. Luckily we are both home-bodies and he enjoys going to his football and I have friends that I get together with and a craft class that I enjoy. I know from experience that we rarely have a night out together that is not ruined, usually by his unwillingness to get anywhere on time or his sulkiness once he is there.

Does anyone else have this experience with their ADHD person?  He seems to need SO many compliments on pretty much anything and everything he does.  He makes the entire Thanksgiving dinner every year--he always has.  And it's fine.  But for gods sake--all the fishing for compliments--before the meal when I say something smells good, not Thank you, but REALL?  It smells good???  in response.  Then all during dinner--every bite he takes is followed by a deep sigh and then yes, this DID come out well or some such.  Jeez.  Enough.

I know very little about this topic of delusional disorders but....I did read that they can be something that comes with Bi-Polar disorder and at this time....I think this is what my wife is suffering from?  It is the only way to explain it?  I see the symptoms of depression and she does self medicate but that is not her main issue.  Her main issue is that "she thinks"...she see's things, hears things, and knows things that are not there or she thinks I know things or am thinking things about her ( as well as others ) that there is no way for her to know either?

I hadn't done this before....so I looked up the differences between men and woman when it comes to the construct of Internal vs External Locus of control..and I ran across just one article that was enlightening to say the least.  Getting right to the heart of this matter as the article suggests........

Locus of Control, Coping, and Sex

Abstract

I had a moment yesterday night... as I was sobbing in the phone to my husband (the result of two sleepless nights - no inciting cause for the insomnia and having only seen him 3 of the last 8 nights about 6 hours total, and no shared nights sleeping together). And after I hung up from my conversation with him, I was kicking myself. Because, while my "negotiations" (for lack of a better term - they aren't really fights anymore - although I have thrown things twice his month) are getting better, I still keep forgetting the rules I set out for myself: