Recent forum posts (all topics)

soon to be married to a man with ADHD. issues with impulsivity etc.

Does anyone else experience this from their ADHD spouse?

ME :"we'll be late if you don't hurry up"

HIM: "I don't care" (shrug)

ME: "Your hair needs cutting dosn't it?"

HIM: "I don't care" (shrug)

ME: "You really upset me with what you said to me yesterday"

HIM: "I don't care" (shrug)

ME: "I think you upset Linda by what you said to her"

HIM: "I don't care" (shrug)

ME: "But why won't you dress up for the party, everyone else will"

HIM "I don't care" (shrug)

I am happy with a bit of improvement I have seen thus far.

I just completed the couples course by myself as my husband would not join me in the live course but we have listened to 3 sessions together afterwards but he will not do any more sessions.

SO I have been working on myself and have come to several aha moments. I have changed at least 10 things about myself and have been sticking to it. I have been evaluating everything that I say and do now since about a month or so ago when the aha moments sunk in and I was ready to implement them.

I decided to leave. I cannot take care of myself anymore, let alone a man-child. I feel like when my ADHD partner is around, I worry incessantly, "is he paying the bills?" "Is he looking for a job?", "how many hours of video games has he played?", "we talked about wiping toothpaste off the sink today, did he remember to do it?". 

I apologize for the following rant of an ADHDer, but I just wanted to get this out there. . . . .

My boyfriend (who has been coping with ADHD his whole life) is 36 years old.  We began dating at the beginning of this year.  Soon after we started dating, he mentioned his ADHD and the medication he was taking to help with symptoms.  While I was glad he shared this information with me, it was during our courting phase and there were absolutely no harmful ADHD relationship issues even remotely occurring at that time.

Since I have gotten great advice from here before, I hope that someone will also comment on this. This is partially a continuation of the topic about my boyfriend playing a martyr. I had some time to think and observe and would like to hear your feedback on some additional problems. 

The more I am together with my boyfriend, the more it seems to me that he is not fully committed. It is this weird combination of being caring and not really fully present in the relationship. What do I mean by this?

I just pulled up my history on this site and my first post was 2 years, and 8 months ago...WOW:)...I've been thinking that I should step away from the forum for a while...It's hard! :)...I've come to really depend on this site...It's been a great dose of reality,...But, on the other hand it can keep me a little to focused on the negatives....So after this post I am planning on pulling (will probably go read only a while, cold turkey may be to much:)..) back for a period of time....

Trying to put this succinctly because I am new to being hopeful about the marriage......but this time....this is ....different.

My husband and I don't go out very much. Luckily we are both home-bodies and he enjoys going to his football and I have friends that I get together with and a craft class that I enjoy. I know from experience that we rarely have a night out together that is not ruined, usually by his unwillingness to get anywhere on time or his sulkiness once he is there.