Recent forum posts (all topics)

ADHD - stuff to accept, and stuff not to expect

I read something today that gave me cause to pause!:  "Healthy people back away from situations that are injurious. or not to their taste.  Desperate people, those who were unable to leave an injurious home life in childhood, insist on making  their current destructive, injurious, or impossible situation work."  

Desperate?

Yep, desperate.  Am I desperate?  

I really have found no specific guideline or timeline of when to really know there is nothing left to try. I believe I have done as much emotional work as I can.   

Advice from you with AD(H)D on how to break it...

So, I've been dating a guy and am totallty convinced he's got ADHD. Problem is he comes from a country that I know doesn't have a wide awareness of the diagnosis. We've reached the state where problems are kicking in (his focus changed from me to his new job and I feel rejected) and I've had to withdraw to protect myself, and he's acting defensive, and so on. I've tried to communicate without making him feel like he's a problem, that our brains just function differently and so on...

Self Sabotage

ADHD seems to create the perfect storm for failure. 

1) Accident Prone. Injured and not able to properly manage recovering. 

2) Misses important details in most situations. Misses important opportunities. 

3) Doesn't learn from past mistakes. Just keeps repeating. 

It is heart wrenching to watch the people you love sabotage their success, relationships, future. Especially when they have so much talent, intelligence, and potential. 

 

 

Spouse quit taking meds

My husband used to take medicine for his ADHD when he was younger and then stopped, but then started taking them again about 2 years ago. A couple months ago he dropped some pills on the floor in the bathroom so he flushed those, but then of course was short so kept taking off work. Then last month he was short about a week...he said he was taking more because he felt he needed to. The past week he had told me he wanted to quit drinking so much and quit smoking. Well he's been really down, like depressed the past week, but I thought it was because of the lack of alcohol and cigs.

The warped perceptions are destroying my kids

So, the marriage failed and he moved out.  When he lived here I could talk him down off his perception of things that were basically mind reading, fortune telling, warped and selective memories.  Now he's living elsewhere which gives him an easy out.  It's gotten so bad that he'll only communicate with me through text, which is the WORST for an ADD spouse, he can read something negative into every single word I write. 

If we are both broken, why am I the only one that needs to be "fixed"?

I admit that I've been reading these forums for months now but only recently felt empowered (or possibly desperate) enough to sign up and voice my thoughts and feelings. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, ADD and Fibro.  My husband has been diagnosed with ADHD.  This is a bit of a long story and I apologize in advanced if it seems a little disorganized. I feel a bit overwhelmed and that tends to affect my thought process. I can't really decide what is relevant info so I just shared all of it. 

Before we met:

Divorce Final Today

I haven't posted in some time.  For a short review, my (now ex) DH is ADHD.  We were married for 29 years.  He left 5 months after the sudden death of my mother.  I tried to get him to work on our marriage, he just didn't want to.  He filed for divorce last October. It became final today. Our 16 year old son is living with me in our home, which I get to keep.  I have mixed emotions. I'm sad about the marriage ending because at some point he was my best friend and the husband I loved.  I'm also relieved and a bit excited about what my future will be.

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