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I'm not sure if I even really want to know the answer to this... I guess I'm afraid I already do... 

The self-centeredness, all the running around, projects taking priority, poor communication, the lack of connection - this is why our marriage ended.  I haven't had any contact with him for the last couple weeks, and this time has been so hard for me. As difficult as it was, and as much as I know that it's probably for the best (for me - and him too I geuss) that it's over between us, I miss his terribly and love him and it's so hard... I wonder, does he miss me?  

I asked my H if he would help me with a volunteer project and he refused.  I reminded him that I would regularly help him with the children's chess club at our parish school that he used to volunteer at.

H responded with a total lie (which he TRULY believed!!!).  He said that I had gone to the school principal's office and had volunteered HIM for the job.  I knew that that wasn't true AT ALL, but at the moment, I couldn't remember how H had gotten involved.  (It wasn't my thing, so my own memory about that wouldn't be fresh.)   

There is so much good information and discussion on this forum.  However, I can't seem to find a situation like mine, which on face value seems like it out to be simple but is not.  I am 44 year old male.  I have had all the classic symptoms my whole life, so has my brother and father.  I was always told that I probably had it but I never knew that there was anything you could do about the way you have always been.  Also, while a pain to me and all around me, ADD had never reared its ugly head and actually caused major damage to my life.

Tonight, after all these years, I broke down and cried as I realized that our home isn't the place of peace and comfort that a home should be.  

It was heart-breaking knowing that my H's mental issues have prevented our family from having the "home is safe" environment.  At any time he can become extremely angry, we walk on eggshells, and that's not what "home" is supposed to be like....at all.   My home growing up was not like that.  Sadly, H's father raged, so he got a bad image of what's "ok".

 

Hi. Long time reader, first time poster, so I sincerely apologize if this post went into the wrong subgroup on the forum.

Let me introduce myself: I'm a 27 year old man, from Sweden, diagnosed with ADHD - as well as post-traumatic stress disorder and social phobia (and the two are, by the way, undergoing very good progress) - and I recently participated in an intense six month ADD/ADHD therapeutic group meeting (with lots and lots of exercises in mindfulness).

I'd like to share (an improved summary of) my "thought notes" with you all, so here they are:

 

Wow. For 17 years, I have felt completely alone in dealing with my severely ADHD husband. I hate that so many of us go through this, but it feels like such a relief to know that I am not the only one on my team.

I really am at the end of the road and it's affecting my life. I am a non adhd partner and this is my first post and Indeed my first point if contact for help and advise. I have been with my partner for just 5 months. I am a gay man of 45 years. I have read through a lot of posts and threads and it has been useful to see the thoughts behind how a non adhd persons reactions can make situations a lot worse. In fact they are destructive. I am so frustrated and I am becoming terribly depressed. I feel like my relationship is a constant battle.

2 years ago, h got into a physical fight with our adult-aged child.  H started the fight, and started the physical aspect.  H is nearly entirely at fault.   H ended up with a black eye.

 

I was the only witness.   over the last two years, H has "changed " the story painting himself as a total victim..   He has not seen or spoken to our son since.   One therapist did tell him that "as the father", he is more responsible since he should taken steps to prevent.   

 

The opportunity was given to my husband for an all expenses paid trip out of the country for our family of four (a gift from his parents). Speaking with him about the trip was as follows: (I promise this is not an exaggeration, I know it sounds ridiculous)

 Tuesday: him: do you want to go?  Me: yes   Him: I don't want to go with my family so I don't want to go...

Wednesday: him: do you want to go?  Me: yes   Him: I don't want to but you can go okay ask my parents..