Please help. I am considering divorce and need your honest advise!!! I’ve been married for 11+ years but have been with my husband for 15+ years. I have experienced things that you discuss here like the financial troubles, feeling unsupported at home, etc,. but we've also been much in love, very close, and have supported each other emotionally in tough times.
Last night my spouse asked if we can "afford" for him and our son to attend the construction convention they have attended the past 2 years in February.
My INTERNAL response was jumping up and ranting, What do you mean afford - How many times have I said I do not want to talk business and finances after 9 pm - Have you even looked at our financial status - even once - since you got mad AT ME about the past dues taxes - and on and on and on.
Rather, I sighed and said it was too late in the day for me to think about finances.
Hello ladies and gentleman,
This is my first post. I am a middle aged man in his early 50s. I have ADD symptoms. Although I am intelligent, tests have shown that my processing speed is not as fast as it can be in some area. This might be due to depression, self loathing, or just because of a brain inflicted by ADD. I really am not sure.
My wife had a birthday back in July...She had made several comments (lustful and jealous in nature :))....over the past year, concerning her feelings about my Costa's (sunglasses)...So, like a good husband (not that I am one) I went down to the shop and tried to find a pair I though would look nice on her...I could not decide between White, Pink, and brown...Although I did rule out the pink...And because comfort is so important, I got her a gift card for the exact amount w/ tax....
I must say that I can relate to everyone else's posts.
The worst is the loneliness. The hyper focus on the computer and the virtual social life that he created on Facebook that I am excluded from, and the safety in intimacy with strangers, which avoids any intimacy with me, be it social, personal or sexual. I wonder what he is doing here at all, just sitting there, would he even notice if I was gone. This is the real problem and the chaos and the support that he needs for that are draining and that makes the above all the more painful.
I don’t know. I don't know what I should do anymore. Many of the things my husband has done I am still trying to figure out if they belong to his personality or his ADD.
For instance, my husband has lied about BIG things like spending money allocated to his bills (more than once), to lying about teeny tiny things like cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry during the day.
Traits of Narcissism...Patterns....The more I become a student of behavioral patterns in my and my wife's life the easier it gets to identify. Hopefully someday it will even get easier to endure and ignore from her... lol....And recognize in myself, before I puke it up onto her and others...If I had to label us for most of our marriage. I would say I trend toward the Narcissist...and she trends toward a Authoritarian, with sever Add to spice it up:)...Ouch...Now folks If you don't think God is able...then you would be wrong...Because we have been a nasty combination...
I hate being reminded of all the bad.
My boyfriend of five years is an alcoholic too. When he was drunk he cheated on me twice with in 2 and a half years. He is apalled when he sobers up and realizes what he has done and says he loves me and only wants me. Do ADHD people learn from their consequences? Do they always end up in denial that they even have ADHD even thought the dr has prescribed Ritalin to them? He also has MAJOR mood swings and is an animal until he eats. He then apologizes for being such a jerk and becomes my sweet man that i always have loved.
About 3 years ago at college, I met a guy and we became best friends. I noticed his behavior was a little strange but I didn't really mind, as he was nice to me. He fell in love with me and he used to be really sweet so with time, I fell in love with him too. We confessed these feelings for each other and all was going well until a friend of his transferred over to the college and he started ignoring more and becoming more distant although he still spoke to me at times and he still had that sweet personality.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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