Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi there,

My boyfriend of 9 months now is ADHD. At first, the relationship was wonderful and he was charming and respected me.

It seems that now he blows up at every little thing I have to say or if I do something he doesn't like, instead of just talking

to me, he spouts off mean horrible things and gets me crying. I know I'm not perfect and I'm an emotional person anyway

, but I feel like he plays on my insecurites somehow by making me turn into this crying little girl. Then of course after he calms 

Out of five people in my family, three have been diagnosed with ADHD.  My eldest son was diagnosed in college, and he still rebels against the diagnosis, refusing treatment just like his father.  I am sad as I watch him struggle in areas that might be easier with help.

Has anyone experienced their ADHD partner lying about money? 

My husband and I been married for 12 years. The 8 years have been very rough and not very good. We fight constantly and he blames me for his problems. He's had ADHD since he was very young. He recently went to a doctor and got medication and doesn't seem to be helping. When he loses something he goes straight to me and starts blaming me for misplacing something he put down 30 seconds early. I get tired of it. He's become very angry and has placed a lot his angry to me. I've always been a very happy person and easy going. Being around him makes me feel a lot angry and upset.

I have been engaged for approximately one year to a man with ADHD. We have been in a relationship for three years. At first I did not notice his symptoms; I thought he was just very energetic and spontaneous. After knowing him for three years now, I am beginning to realize that these qualities are not going to change. He is extremely messy and rarely helps with chores. He had a gambling problem which stopped, however I am always afraid that it will return. He is been pulled over numerous times for speeding and had his license revoked. He also seems to be addicted to pornography.

The newsletter talked about being disconnected.  That you have to share your thoughts, feelings, etc with your partner.  But of course you have to feel safe in your relationship to do so.  I don't think I feel "safe" in my relationship.  If I share my feelings to my ADHD spouse, I either get yelled at, ignored, or made fun of.  If I ask my spouse's opinion about something, I get a sarcastic remark in return.  It all makes for very difficult communication.

I was just listening to a radio soap where a young couple are dating and flirting while reading posts here form people feeling lonely hurt or misunderstood.  I'm tempted to get hubby to help me write a script for a date and then me and hubby can go out and stick to the script and have a lovely time! any thoughts? m

Many of us on this forum are here because we are at our wits end. I assume there are many spouses of ADDers out there who are NOT on this site who are able to negotiate, partner, support without fear of power imbalance and trust their ADD or ADHD partners.  We are here because something is wrong with the partnership and we are at a loss about what it is and what to do about it.  If our ADD partner is denying, fighting and isolating, we are being rejected and ignored as an equal partner in their lives.....in the life of our marriage.