Recent forum posts (all topics)

Understanding Implied Meaning--That's not what I meant!

I'm new to this site and this is my first post. I could put together a decent list of ADHD issues that impact (or could seriously impact, if we lived in the same house and/or were legally married) our relationship, but I wanted to ask first about the ADHD partner misunderstanding communication. This one is going to tear us apart and be our downfall in the end (which may be here soon....).  My partner of 8 years (on and off) will misinterpret something I've said---usually something lighthearted---and become impatient with me, even to the point of getting angry.

Parent pole

Just curious. Spouses, what was/is your relationship with your father?  I ask because it occurs to me that if I could have talked to my Dad about these things and been assured that I would get support and that he would believe me, I could have made the necessary changes I needed to from the beginning and laying out the groundwork to be respected....or maybe I would never have had the over-tolerance to dh's actions and inaction and irresponsibilities.

non adhd'ers loosing friends

Here's another question for you guys. Have some of you "non's" lost friends because of the challenges of living with an ADHD'er? (mainly the undertreated and undiagnosed, like our situation) I have lost many friends along the way, mainly due to the craziness in our house. My husband has hyperactive AND inattentive ADHD, and when he enters a room, it's like a tornado just touched down. He talks LOUD, and RUNS through the house, (not walking) and takes over every conversation.

$14.81!!!!!!!

THAT is what husband's 2 week paycheck was today!!!! He has dug himself in such a hole. That total amounted to 3 days of work which should have been 10 days and there's 3 more days that SHOULD be on there because he told me he went to work but he just drove around until I left for work myself and then came home. He had $270 taken out for child support, another $35 for cafeteria (bring your damn lunch!) and they couldn't even take out the $130 they do every paycheck for his loans because he didn't have enough.

New to this.

My husband is from the USA. I'm from the UK. This is a second marriage for both of us. Me because my first husband died. Him due to divorce. I realize now that I jumped into the marriage,my first husband was NORMAL and looking back I was lonely and so missing him I convinced myself that this new guy was equally the deal. The signs were there though. He'd forget to turn up to family events we'd been invited to,or turn up late.

Tired of dysfunction

I sometimes think my severely ADD husband would rather be tortured to death than agree that I might be right about anything or show me any empathy about anything.  It doesn't whether I start a sentence with the word I, you, we, they or Santa Claus it is twisted in his head and heard as a personal attack on his manhood or me telling him what to do.  I am so sick of fighting and being the only one in this marriage willing to try to solve problems instead of ignoring them.  And we've had just enough counseling that he uses it against me in an argument.

DH's latest hyperfocus

On the way to Easter at his parent's, DH (who "works" from home on his own business) starts telling me about a book he listened to called The 4-hour work week. Oh good, let's try and find a way to do even less work. He starts telling me how this guy finds ways to work and still have adventures and do things. He said he doesn't want to wake up one day to my son being 16 and realizing we have not taken many trips, etc. with the kids. Well, no kidding...do you think I like telling them no to everything b/c we have no money?

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