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Hello,

I am a 48 year old man, and I have been dealing with a number of issues. Most of my issues relate to social anxiety disorder - and a fear of flying and traveling.

I am hoping some of you can offer advice in what is a very dark time for me.

Some background: I am an ADHD 33-year-old with no hyperactivity and many effective coping skills when it comes to organizing my professional and financial life. But my DH's frustration and hurt resulting from my distraction at home is endangering my marriage - very seriously. I desperately want to fix the ways in which I have hurt him and continue to ... but I am not aware of any tactics that can reverse my behavior. I'm hoping some of you can share the skills you apply at home.

Some days we just are too tired to get into heavy discussion. This can be a way to just put out a one-liner when too tired of having or dealing with ADD/ADHD. Especially those days when the isolation of our thoughts need to let it go. Not really a discussion thread, just dropping in and dropping off a slug or two and feeling better after it's gone.

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Here goes:

I wish ADD/ADHD would just go to hell and die there.

It's obvious to most that have ever met me that my brain works differently than others, and I've had a lot of the same struggles as many husbands described on this board. However, I got a unique view of ADHD because of my children showing the same characteristics. The only thing is that my children are adopted. It started when I had only one adopted child that I raised from birth, and then I came to even more of an understanding after adopting five more children from the foster system. 4 of those 5 children had "adhd characteristics" with one of them being highly medicated for it. 

My ADHD spouse stated he needed to talk about a few very important matters - that can not wait until after our daughter's wedding in August..  I said let's pick a time that is not too early and not too late.  He said OK.  How about Saturday at 10 am.

It is Saturday 10:12 am.  He is still sleeping.

This is not our first  rodeo. . . .this is symbolic.  I call, remind, remind, remind, remind.    This meeting was his idea.  His request.  

A perfect example of how my response to his negative ADHD brain behaviors cause me to cry in despair.

A lot of the issues we have revolve around his ADD - Ritalin isn't working but right now it's the only thing we can afford, even with insurance the other meds are SO expensive!  Anyway, it has driven a huge wedge between us - I'm sure this issue isn't new to this forum.  I've not made the best decisions as a result of the frustration and stress from not knowing how to deal with his ADD.  I've even considered leaving but dammit, I love this man.  We separated a while back and I met someone else so that's been an issue too.  I don't want my marriage to end but I don't know how much more I can

Why, oh why, oh why did I not see how disrespectful my ADHD spouse is towards me?  

Why did I take all his crap as being in some place of wise authority over me?  

I am literally, physically ill over this realization.

Now to figure out how I need to respond/react to it. 

Hi there I have been recently diagnosed with adult adhd and am recently single :-( I was a controlling/possessive boyfriend due to the cheating delusions I was having is this a common thing for people with adhd? Just to clear things up my ex never gave me a reason to think that anything was or would ever happen it was just my thought processes it was like a living hell for the two of us. Now I have been diagnosed and awaiting my coarse of treatment will this improve?

On one of my last posts, I spoke about issues with my fiance being able to save money. I am happy to report that after initiating the plan we call "operation save"  he is not only saving over  5x more than he was before, but during that time admitted that he does struggle with financial planning. (I needed to hear him say it, and not be all macho.) It was ridiculously funny (and i giggled none stop) when he said he saved x amount in 4 weeks. I am loving this. Apparently "operation save" in his words, is much easier than running around like a headless chicken at the end of every month.

My husband has ADHD. He is currently being treated (and has been for a couple of years). We have been married for 12 years. For several years now (ever since we had children), I have felt VERY alone and unsupported in the marriage. I work full-time, but feel that I do most if not all of the childcare and housework. Whenever I ask him for help, I feel like he agrees to be more helpful and support me in any way that he can, but I am always frustrated by what seems like a real lack of effort and follow through. He is works very hard, but seems distracted and withdrawn most of the time.