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The cause of our arguments is no different - disconnects on household chores, getting so "stuck" on irrelevant facts while she is talking about something serious, forgetting nearly everything - except for things that don't matter...I could go on, but I'm sure this is not new for anyone who has or is close to someone with ADHD. Our arguments start the same way - but from my perspective she seems more enraged at my inattentive behaviors and patterns. I'm just confused because I feel like my treatment is working (at least I think so) and I'm not sure why our relationship has not improved.

I do not know how to get over someone being unfaithful.  If i understand from your book, you have went thru this.  Any suggests or ideas?

Hi there,

Just wanted to say hi and to pass on some comments regards the book The ADHD Effect on Marriage. 

I'm about halfway through so far (up to the chapter on empathy). 

I have been with this guy for nearly 2 years now, i have a 9 year old son (not his) and i have now a new little baby to my partner. whilst i wads pregant things were very hard as i was working and he could not hold a  job down. During this time when i was pregant we nearly lost our house, wass selling our furniture to pay the rent as he was really bad with money. he would continually buy and buy things we didnt need, BUT he had to have these, once he bought them he would find something else he would need to buy. Drove me insane.

My husband is a loving, generous, very smart man who was diagnosed as an adult with add. We have been together 14 years and have children. He holds down a fairly flexible job and is good at it, but has difficulty with any deadlines, reports, meetings, and schedules in general and so far has been able to avoid getting in too much trouble over it (I understand that these things are hard for him but I worry about his job security).

I feel completely alone and the loneliness feels so much worse when you are actually in a relationship. I love him to bits and so does he but on a day to day basis sometimes I feel invisible to him. (He has ADD and I don't) Even the tiniest issue about him has to be discussed and addressed as it feels of major importance to him (and I'm always there and happy to support him). Then when I feel sad or under the weather I'm on my own.

Good article from the Wall Street Journal today on marital nagging.  It's not specific to ADHD, but the nature of the problem and the recommendations are just as valid (or perhaps more so!) in an ADHD relationship.  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577180811554468728.html

My boyfriend and I were on the verge of ending our relationship when I found Melissa's book. We were both amazed and so hopeful when we first read it. It was truly a biography of our relationship.

I honestly believe things have gotten worse since my husband started taking Adderall. He started on the medication on 12/30/11 and by 1/3/2012 he was a totally different person and things have not been the same since. He is doom and gloom around the house, telling me things aren't going to work out between us, etc. What do you think??

I am in a relationship with someone with ADHD. I don't have ADHD. When I started reading ADHD Effect on Marriage, I was relieved and hopeful. I asked my boyfriend to read the patterns section so he could understand how I feel. He started to read it, then he left it at work. Needless to say he hasn't read it and still does not know/understand how I am feeling. I have lost hope. How can anything ever change with someone who has ADHD?