Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi Everyone...

I apologize in advance if my post becomes a little lengthy.  I just want to give a full depiction of my situation and see if anyone has been in a similar situation and can offer any insight or advice, as I most certainly could use it right now.  The past few days (since Sunday) have been the worst in my entire life......

I am the non-adhd spouse of an ADHD man who was diagnosed long after I had married him.  I found out a few months ago that my husband of 12 years ago had his profile on a dating website.  After the initial shock wore off, and many panic attacks of my own over this, things calmed down slightly.  I was still determined to not let it go.  After some snooping around on his emails, I came across messages from a couple of woman.  To make a long story short, I confronted my husband with this info and he admitted to having his first affair 4 years ago!

I have finally decided I can't live with my husband any more. He doesn't feel he should have to move, unlike Lululove's husband who left when she told him to. So I, handicapped, have to divide all our stuff, pack and move. I am going to move about 90 miles away, where my job is (it's on online job; I never go there) and my family.

Our relationship has improved greatly in the past few weeks.  I've learned (through reflection and visiting with my own therapist) to back off a little.  I was rather critical and "nagged" more then necessary.   A long story short things are going great.  We are both more relaxed, I feel happy again, with him and myself,  he's willing to hear me out now and is not as sensitive or tries to be more conscious of his responses and questions as do I.  

Something strange has happened in my marriage and I need some advice / possible explanation/help understanding:  First some background -  My husband has ADHD, he was diagnosed with it when he was a child.  He does not take medication and flat out refuses to go to therapy.  We have been married 7 years, most of which have been very difficult.  When we were dating I was his focus, we would spend time together, he adored me, he would spoil me with extravagant gifts.  Once we were married and moved in together things began to unravel.  He didn’t help with the household chores, spent a tremendou

I was just browsing while we were on vacation and found this site.... i honestly never thought my husbands adhd could be the cause of our problems... but as i began to read ... it was like a movie of my life.  We have been married for 5 years.  I was married before and he unfortunately commited suicide.  I was young and we were not together for a very long time but still a painful thing to go through at such a young age (18).  Im going to jump straight into things because i honestly have no one to talk to about these issues....no one....

I am new to the forum, and the ADHD diagnosis is new to my husband. The conversation began for us in earnest 2 years ago, when his defenses were down and I took the opportunity to suggest he might have a learning disability. He admitted he had also wondered if he might have an LD, and said he'd like to be tested. The results indicated that he didn't have an LD, but revealed a primary diagnosis of clinical depression and secondary ADHD.

It's really good and I think it will help some of you awesome people.

http://vimeo.com/10756436

So I've been sitting here for a couple of hours reading a lot of posts about chore wars and power struggles and the resulting resentment.  I'm the non-ADD spouse, but I differ from many here in that I don't mind picking up after my ADD wife.  I'm not talking about her work things or clothes, but if she leaves the coffee creamer out on the counter (almost every day), I simply put it away.  If she sweeps the kitchen but leaves the debris in a pile on the floor, I pick it up.  If she leaves all the lights and TV on upstairs even though she's sitting downstairs watching TV, I'll shut them off

My marriage to my ADD wife is at an all time low.  I've read both Melissa Orlov's book and Co-Dependent No More, both which have helped me alot.  I'm really trying to let my wife take charge of herself, however we still live in the same house with two kids, so we have to coexist and coordinate our lives to some extent.  But she is so incredibly passive aggressive and full of shame from carrying around every perceived failure she's ever had in her life that she translates any conversation about the smallest conflict into astounding anger and blame.  I can't express the slightest concern over