Recent forum posts (all topics)

How long?

To the non-ADHD spouses out there....how long do you usually wait to talk to your spouse after you have been yelled for the fourth time in as many days? I had to turn my cell phone off because of the amount of calls i was getting that sounded despondent and when i offer my advice i get yelled at in return. I was just tired of getting yelled at is all.

Who in the world am I anymore?

I have asked myself this but I dont think I was as serious as I am now. Im so sad. Im angry. Im frustrated. I can NEVER get my time that I have invested back. I can never get the trust or respect back from my kids that I have lost over the last 10 years and I still cant get out. How do you begin? My spouse has not been DX but through my own *stories* of events and his reactions (or lack there of) my therapist of 5 years has said shes willing to put $$$ that he has adhd and he is narcissist.

1st post - would love some advice

Hi all.  Forgive my just jumping in here, but I have been doing tons of reading here and have had a few "AHA!" moments that I think have helped clarify the last 2 weeks of my life, but would love some input into my own situation.

A week ago, my ADHD-diagnosed-but-undertreated [ex]-boyfriend announced that he wanted to breakup.  Entirely unexpected at the time, but in hindsight, I maybe saw it coming.

Here is my background (this is terribly long, for which I apologize - brevity is not my strong suit, especially when try to summarize a year of events...):

Eye contact

The  "H" for my husband is in his eyes. He has difficulty maintaining eye contact and seems to not be paying attention. I realize that for him to concentrate he has a hard time listening or talking while he's looking at someone. I recently realized that I don't feel like he's paying attention to me or really ever fully engaged. When he does make eye contact it feels much better to me, like I matter. We are wonderiG if anyone can offer some exercises for us to practice on having more eye contact or any suggestions on how to improve this?

New marriage, just foun out I'm ADD...is it normal to feel like my husband is too good for me bc of my problems?

Hi everyone!  I'm new to all this do bare with me.  My husband and I got married when I was 6 months pregnant. I know he loves me but even still any woman would have some small thoughts in the back of my head that if I hadn't of gotten pregnant then we would have never gotten married.  Even though my husband is the nicest, most kind hearted, caring man that I've ever met and he does his best to assure me that he would have never married me if he had any doubt.  I have always been very quick tempered, disorganized, constantly procrastinating, forgetful, and over all just scatter brained.

Starting a new marriage counselor .... What to ask

My husband (ADHD) and I ( nonADHD) are starting a new marriage counselor in a couple months.   This marriage therapist is assigned through the Veteran's Hospital where the doctors sometimes work in cycles between clinics... So our other counselor cycled out and shifted us to his boss's care.

We don't know if the old therapist or new one is "specialized" ( if that is the proper word) in ADHD or not.

 

Made a decision

Thank you to everyone who has posted on this forum and shared their heartbreaking and very relatable stories. After pushing and prodding my boyfriend along these 5 years to marry me I've decided I'm no longer interested in marrying him. All this time I've thought it was ME and have worked very very hard improving me (mind, body and spirit). I'm not perfect. I have baggage, but don't we all?

Glad I found this site. I am not alone....

WOW!!!  I feel like I want to cry in pure joy I have found this sight!  I had no idea there were others who experience what I have being married to someone with ADD.    We have been married almost 2 yrs but dated for 3yrs.  We had soooo much fun together dating and did so much laughing.  We did not live together before we were married due to religious reasons.   Since we have been married, there have been several times where I honestly thought I was done.  DONE!  Anytime I call for his attention when he is doing something, he sighs in frustration and rolls his eyes.  He will not help around

Communicating about Budgets

We're gearing up for the first home budget meeting of the year. We're trying to get back into the habit of a weekly family meeting, but this first meeting will be going over last year's budget and planning at a high level for the new year. In the past, we stopped doing weekly or monthly budget meetings because our communication and budget styles are different enough that they were really ​stressful for us. So now we're starting up again, and I'm trying to figure out good communication strategies to make this more successful.

Please explain to me: Why does he sound like a teenager?

Forum: 

I have been dating a 45-year old man with undiagnosed ADHD for a year. Both me and him are convinced that he has the condition. One of the many things that puzzles me about his behaviour is this: He mostly acts and speaks in a way that is relevant for his age - that is in a responsible, mature and experienced way. But suddenly he reacts, jokes and makes comments that is really embarrasing, like some teenager. To be frank, he sounds stupid and I really get turned of, I am in my forties and don't want to date a kid.

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