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Sorry, this post has been entirely rewritten. I was looking for something, but didn't find it. I'm still just as confused about events as before and there are no new insights really. Why is it so hard to accept the casualties of an ADD divorce?

This is a saying I say all the time at work when helping people who get stuck trying to do something. I just said it again to a co-worker who had messed up a job even though they did their best. I said," you can't know what you don't know....and there are hundreds, even thousands of little tricks in your bag you only learned from experience. These are things they don't teach in any classroom. Knowing how, comes from experience. 

I have no idea what I've done. I'm the one with ADHD. My spouse gets frustrated with me and condescending with a "tone". I can't do much of anything right from what I can tell.  It makes me sad and teary. In the past, when I've tried to set boundaries and/or talk about it, he gets upset and asks me for examples. And he brushes them off as me being overly sensitive. So he's dismissive. He hurts my feelings. And he's certain it's me, not him. I feel like I'm being punished for something and I don't know what for. I'm out of ideas and options.  So I just shut down.  Which makes it worse.

I wanted to share something that happened yesterday. I'm in the midst of doing a deep dive into the topics of: control, anxiety, fear, sex abuse, RSD, avoidant behavior and abuse in general including the cycle of abuse and how they all work together and are interrelated. I'm still in the middle of learning more about these things and finding I'm learning as much about myself as I am my SO.

I'm extremely upset that I allowed him to reel me back in for even a few hours. So I had not spoken to my adhd ex in almost 1 month. Last time I posted here was because I had broken things off with him because I had met another guy and told him to let go that I had someone else. He let go fully a few weeks then he started contacting me again and creating new numbers and emails saying he wanted me to send him back some gold that he had given me because he really needed the money.

Hi everyone. I'm getting more and more unhappy in my marriage. My husband has ADHD and bad RSD. The RSD is causing regular problems in our relationship. I understand how ADHD and the RSD affect him and that it's part of it but I'm finding it more and more difficult to handle. At times he is blatantly rude and horrible. 
 

Have any of you non-ADHD partners who've been badly hurt by ADHD, reached a point of forgiveness?

I would want to close this crater of pain when the first year of divorce is coming round. It's not so much about him or overseeing with his actions. Mostly, I want to be different.

I believe I understand what my SO is trying to say,  but she's not only missing the mark, its making me feel criticized and disapproved of at the very same time. This is one reason I came back here talking about her going on a roll of periods of non-stop criticism.  I realized, this method she's been using has great deal to do with it,  as this method  happens quite often.... even again tonight.  In fact, this is the reason we had our first conflict together. Ironically, it's conflict she's trying to avoid. The message is definitely not coming through loud and clear! 

A quick post about frustration and ADHD and an observation I made at work. The frustration is not mine but my employer's.

The woman I work with has ADHD. I've mentioned she's the apprentice in the shop. I've also mentioned that in my line of work....there's a structured hierarchy: apprentice, journeymen and master. In the tradition of the craft, the apprentice has a supporting role in support of the journeymen and master craftsman. They do all busy work and tasks that keep the others moving in flow so the entire shop will run smoothly and be more productive. 

Angry at ADHD Husband - Not Understanding Priority Setting