Recent forum posts (all topics)

It finally ended and he finally decided to stop contacting me after 4 years of stalking me and pretending we never broke up in the first place. But the way I ended things to get rid of him I have to say I feel very guilty and ashamed of. I never wanted to hurt him. Me and my adhd ex were together for 6 years and my world revolved around him. Although it was constant fights and breaking up every other week he never wanted to let go.. he would create tons of new numbers and emails just to stay in touch. 

I'll have to come back to this one since I'm currently at work. A recent post on verbal abuse caused me to pause and think about this topic for a moment.  It required some research on my end because I realized I needed to know more about the topic of RSD. 

When I first came to this forum around 8 or so years ago, I was challenged to ferret out my own anger which is what this post is all about: ferreting out anger. That, and being first introduced to emotional lability at that time, is what I assume, is now part of, or contained in, the same topic of RSD.

This week my ex husband's cheerful texts on things he needs me to do for children (who are with him) make me want to hurt him.

I don't like who I am at this moment. I practically hate the man. I hate that he acts as if he has no functional issues, at the same time counting heavily on me for the children. I hate that he pretends he hasn't used me and been dishonest to me and hurt me. I hate that he makes no attempt to make amends. I hate that he conveys he's so happy and relaxed now.

He has meltdowns for hours some of it feels like abuse. But is it just ADHD

Long story short, we separated in February.  But he sometimes worked at the bar by our house, so he would come back for a day, then it was two days.  Then we'd go to parties or events with the kids together and it was easier for him to just stay here, and of course we were getting along so much better than before.  A house on our block came up for sale at a really great price.  I thought it would be great for a place for me to live, he could have my (much larger) house and I could live there.   Then we realized that we couldn't totally afford it unless we rented it for a while, until I was

ADHD partner and impulse issues.

Just learned from my now adult son how his father's behaviour negatively impacted his self esteem and mental health growing up. 

I am Scrooge.....be back with more once the ghosts stop visiting.

I have been married to an ADHD man for 8 years.  He is non medicated and barely acknowledges he has ADHD He will do no self reflection or research to help himself.  Last 2 years have been bad with his RSD and very dysregulated (not that he ever was regulated).  I can't talk to him.  I am in this alone.  My emotional tank is so full, I just want to give up but we don't really want divorce.  My question is:  Have any of you non ADHD spouses started taking medication to help you deal with your ADHD spouse?  ie:  antianxiety, depression meds?  Any natural supplements?  If so do you think it hel

Yesterday, my SO and I were driving to a doctor's appointment she had, and I was tagging along. They had just chip sealed the road we live on, and the surface is now uniformly resurfaced with fresh gravel. It has the look of a new carpet to give you an idea. Only a few moments as we were driving down the street, she looked at me and said this:

"Remember last year when they put asphalt on all the cracks in the street....and it looked like snakes all scattered randomly all over the road? That really bothered me....it looked all chaotic and ugly. ( Paraphrasing )

That was pretty close to what she said if not quoted exactly.  She continued on and said this:

"That's why I have the house the way I do. I really can't stand it when there's things out on the counters, or like my art room with all the paint bottles crammed in there like they are. That drives me crazy ( quote )"

In other words, she gets a visceral, uncomfortable feeling when things are visually out of place, not spaced out in a certain way or just bad fung shei: crowded, or unorganized.

It never would have occurred to me about the tar stripes on the road bothering her of anyone? ( the snakes ) It's not even something I really even notice or look at? And it certainly doesn't cause me to have a visceral reaction? I simply don't even notice.

This explains to me many things. For example: It explained why, the other day when I got home from a long day at work and it was 103° outside, she was being very insistent that I go out and clean up some trimmings in the yard from some shrubs she had cut earlier in the day.

My internal dialogue went something like: are you nuts?? It's 103° frick'in degrees outside!! What I said to her was actually something like: I'm mowing the yard tomorrow morning early before the heat comes up, can't it wait until then? I couldn't understand her sense of urgency and why it was so important to get a few trimmings off the lawn?

Now I understand. If she presented it to me the way she did yesterday, it would have saved me a lot of stress trying to understand her logic or reasoning in why she does things the way she does? There really is none is the answer. It's based more on a feeling than anything else.  That part I understand and can relate with. 

This helps me as a guide, in knowing what and why I need do things around the house.....and even the order in which I do things.

The longer I wait to do certain things....for her, the more she has to endure this uncomfortable feeling.

I get that. It's something I can understand. 

J

PS: I think this may also have something to do with how she approaches me at times. She can be pretty bossy, with that sense of urgency again...like, I need this right now!  And without knowing any better, the first thing question that comes to mind is....why right now?