Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm really struggling at the moment (hence the 2x different posts) but it's not so much sadness or grief or anything...it's moreso around trying to wrap my head about radical acceptance. 

If I think/believe my spouse's (ADHD, 48 yo, dx 3 years ago) behaviour and actions are unnacceptable and I don't like them and don't want to live like this, but I'm practicing radical acceptance, which means that who is right now is WHO HE IS and I need to accept it...... where does that put me? 

I've been on this forum for nearly 9 years and have separated myself from my spouse in many areas.  We live together and do some things together but I no longer depend on him, fix his mistakes, or apologize for him.  I've dealt with most of the issues others have posted about and will say that there is no fixing your spouse.  They aren't going to clean, or take out trash, or pick up the kids on time.  You must accept this if you intend to stay married.  Stop wasting years while s/he half-asses therapy, makes empty promises, and blames everything on their condition.

I'm the non in this (as least I think so) and we are in such a bad place, I can't even begin to figure out where to start to address it. I don't want to be in this type of marriage anymore, I don't want to model what we are modelling to our son...basically, I don't know what to do when I know I've had enough, my body/mind/soul/heart is screaming at me: 'ENOUGH" and yet... I feel stuck and not sure what to do (and acknowleding that this appears to be a prison of my own making). 

I'm the non in this (as least I think so) and we are in such a bad place, I can't even begin to figure out where to start to address it. I don't want to be in this type of marriage anymore, I don't want to model what we are modelling to our son...basically, I don't know what to do when I know I've had enough, my body/mind/soul/heart is screaming at me: 'ENOUGH" and yet... I feel stuck and not sure what to do (and acknowleding that this appears to be a prison of my own making). 

I have been married to an, until last year, undiagnosed ADHD/OCD spouse.  We have been together 31 years.  Unbeknownst to me, when we got together, he was self medicating with alcohol. The person he was when I married him is the complete opposite of the man he is today and I find myself wondering how I ever got here.  As he struggled to get his alcoholism under control, slowly but surely, the “real” him came out, along with all the ADHD symptoms.  His only love language is physical and I became so tired of feeling like a blow up doll I have no interest in sex anymore.

I’m new here and just started the ADHD Effect on Marriage audiobook and…it’s been hard. Both my wife and I have ADHD, as well as our five children who have Auhd. Everything I’ve heard we’ve gone through and it has brought me a lot of sadness. The frustration and pain my wife has gone through during our marriage was being said in the book as if someone had recorded us. We have separated for a few months and have tried to work on it for the last 3yrs but continue to hit a wall where she’s pretty much had enough. Whatever trust has eroded away, the respect is gone.

Hi All,

A session is coming up for my ADD ex and me, with our former couples therapist.

Just a note...but there used to be a poster here that went by 'J' and he wrote a lot of posts...and I noticed he hasn't posted to the site for a while...just checking if he's here and you are ok? Or if anyone knows he's alright?